Predictions

Hey all. It's been a couple of weeks but the pesky international break got in the way. Thankfully, most of the Liverpool squad got through unscathed (though now we have one functional left back and calling him functional is a compliment) so let's look ahead to this weekend's matches, where I'll presumably get almost every prediction wrong.


Everton 1-2 Liverpool

Call me biased but I think we have enough firepower to win the derby. Suarez has been a scourge to the men in blue since he joined the club and is in the form of his life. Sturridge has apparently been playing with a dead leg for weeks, which explains how he's managed to go 2 league games without scoring. But it'll be close and Everton have a very good team, the likes of Lukaku will be a real test for whatever defenders Rodgers sends out. I still think we'll edge it though.


Arsenal 1-1 Southampton

Southampton have the best defence in the league so I don't think for a second that this'll be an easy game for the Gunners. They also have a lot of young English talent in all areas of the pitch and in Lallana, Rodgriguez and Lambert, a quality attacking trio. If Arsenal are at their very best, they should win, but anything less than that and if Southampton play well, I can see this one ending in a draw.


Fulham 1-2 Swansea

Fulham have been in wretched form and can't seem to find goals consistently against teams with a decent back four (sorry Palace fans). They're playing appalling and I can't see Swansea losing this game. If Fulham play well, Berbatov grabs a goal or two then they could get a draw but the Swans are too good a team with too many quality players to expose the horror show that has become Fulham's back four. Nevertheless, this is a must win game for Martin Jol.


Hull 2-0 Crystal Palace

Palace have been awful so far this season and I see absolutely no reason why Hull shouldn't beat them fairly comfortably here. Hull have by no means set the league alight but they've certainly been disciplined and have kept clean sheets when they've needed to and picked up a very good set of results. This is a no-brainer for me but it won't be as easy as it should be.


Newcastle 2-1 Norwich

Neither of these sides are particularly strong but Newcastle are in good form with a couple of great results and Norwich got a good win last time out. This will be a scrappy affair but Newcastle should have just about have enough fire power to secure all three points in this one. Norwich might score though, Newcastle's defence has been patchy at best though, so I imagine Norwich can cause them more than a few problems.


Stoke 1-0 Sunderland

This is a tough one to predict. Stoke don't score many, Sunderland have real problems keeping clean sheets. Stoke don't concede many, Sunderland have potential to score but have struggled. As much as I'd love to say this one has 0-0 written all over it, I think Stoke will just have the edge. Peter Crouch to score a 21st minute header, you heard it here first.


West Ham 2-1 Chelsea

Chelsea have an appalling away record and their form is somewhat lacking. They're struggling to score goals and I reckon if things work out in West Ham's favour, they could cause a real upset here. Ravel Morrison is in red hot form and they have some really good players. They've already shocked Spurs, can they shock Mourinho?


Man City 2-1 Spurs

I've been saying all season that City have the best side and Spurs are struggling to score goals. But City's form is pretty poor and they're not playing as well as they can. Without Kompany at the back they look vulnerable and they lost to Sunderland last time out. You can never quite tell what you're going to get with City but I suspect they'll have enough here to beat Spurs, if they play well. And that's still a big if.


Cardiff 1-3 Man U

United are finally starting to put together a decent run of games, even though the majority of those have been against sides they should be beating comfortably. That said, Cardiff are a side they should be beating comfortably. They've had an alright start to the season but shouldn't pose too much of a threat if United play well.


West Brom 1-1 Aston Villa

A tough battle in the Birmingham derby and one which I think will be decided by the odd goal. Neither side is playing particularly well or particularly badly and the fact that they're separated by only one goal on goal difference so far this season in mid-table suggests this one will be a pretty low scoring draw, so I'm going for 1-1.



Take these with a pinch of salt, football has a way of coming back to bite those who think they have a fucking clue what's going on.

What a weekend

Wow. Talk about a bad weekend for London clubs...

In a weekend in which just about all the underdogs put on a show, Manchester United stormed back into the title race and Liverpool fans were licking their lips with glee.
Arsenal - Downed by United.
City - Lost to Sunderland
Spurs - Outplayed by Newcastle
Chelsea - Scraped a point through a last minute dive
Everton - Drew with the side bottom of the league

This was not a weekend for the favourites, with only Liverpool and Southampton winning from inside the top 8. And both did so emphatically, Liverpool putting four without reply past a dreadful Fulham whilst Saints put Hull to the sword. And make no mistake, as bad as we were last weekend against the Gunners, Liverpool were well and truly on fire yesterday. Suarez was causing all kinds of problems and got himself on the scoresheet twice, meaning he is now the joint-leading scorer in the league despite missing the first 5 games, but it was Steve Gerrard's set-pieces that caused all the problems, as first Amorebieta put through his own net before a bullet header from Skrtel off a corner made it 2-0. In my mind though, Jordan Henderson was the best player on the pitch, picking out raking passes, beating defenders and snapping at heels all day long. That said, Kieran Richardson was as bad as I've ever seen a left back play and Fulham were lethargic, uninterested and quite frankly dire. If Jol doesn't go soon, I'd be very surprised, unless they turn it around quickly.

As for Southampton, they continue to be the shock of the season. People were laughing when they said they were aiming for Champions League football at the start of the season. Nobody's laughing now. They were on song today as well, the main trio of Lallana, Lambert and Rodriguez continuing to impress. They're all hammering on the door of the England squad and deservedly so. But Southampton have been unmatched at the back, with only Spurs coming close to the 5 goals they've conceded all season, never more than one in a game. Only Norwich have beaten them this season (I know right) and they're deservedly ahead of the likes of Chelsea, United and City, sitting pretty in 3rd spot.

Hull themselves will be very disappointed how poorly they were defensively, especially considering their solidity in recent weeks, but they're in a good position nevertheless. Their fellow newly promoted side Cardiff may only be 2 points behind them, but Hull have been superior to them so far this season.

Speaking of newly promoted sides, Crystal Palace produced a dogged display to secure their first draw of the season and stop an alarming slide that saw them lose 7 games straight. Against Everton of all people, who missed their chance to climb into the top four. They weren't the only ones. Failing to score against Crystal Palace is an exceptional feat that nobody else has managed so far. Only Sunderland and Spurs came close to that, scoring just the one but frequently, Palace have been shipping goals in the 2s and 3s. Lukaku must've been rubbing his hands together before kick off.

Speaking of struggling to score, Spurs fans have been increasingly vocal at their annoyance at their manager. I personally find it odd to criticise a manager for setting up to not concede, indeed AVB's style is straight out of the Mourinho school of management and look at how successful he has been. But when your team only has 9 goals in 11 games and a sizeable chunk of those have been from dubious penalties, I can understand their frustration. Much has been made of Soldado and the lack of inverted wingers but often the problem is simply that teams will put 10 men behind the ball and the majority of teams in the league would struggle to react to that. Manchester City are a prime example, as today they failed utterly miserably to break down 2nd bottom Sunderland and lost 1-0 also. Sunderland defended resolutely and City, missing a good number of key players (again) simply weren't good enough. Their away form has been wretched and although they're only 6 points off the top, they need to improve and quick. They're now behind their arch rivals.

Ah yes United. I'd been wondering when you'd reappear. I've been wholly unconvinced by United this season. Scraping wins against Palace, Stoke and Sunderland left me in doubt they were struggling. They improved against a Fulham side who have slipped off the rails, but today was as much a test for them as it was for Arsenal. A chance for United to prove they could still play with the big boys. A test they passed, but it is fair to say it was much more a case of a test failed for Arsenal. Ozil was awful, Cazorla and Ramsey not much better and Arsenal, quite frankly, were a shadow of the team that comprehensively outplayed us last week. I'm just annoyed it wasn't the other way round and they didn't flatten United instead of us. But credit to United. Phil Jones was immense yet again, Carrick and Cleverly defended well and Rooney did a Rooney. There's no denying RVP is a disrespectful piece of shit, but he did what he does best, scored a goal and is now only 1 goal behind the leading scorers (with a little bit of help from dubious penalty awardings as per).

As for dubious penalties, this brings me to the Bridge. The Bridge where Jose Mourinho has never lost a single league game for Chelsea. By nothing short of a miracle. With West Brom (who have been magnificently resurgent since their win at Old Trafford) leading 2-1, Ramires flung himself to the ground via th midriff of an Albion defender, only for the ref to point to the spot, because quite frankly he couldn't deny Jose a penalty at Stamford Bridge with his team 2-1 down in the 93/94/95/90whateverth minute and that home record on the line. West Brom were robbed, Chelsea dropped two points.

Credit before I go to Norwich, for a brilliant win but Big Sam's West Ham need to be looking over their shoulder. They're only out the drop zone on goal difference and they've won just one of their last 10 now. Not good enough and nowhere near enough goals scored. And also, there were 3 goals in the three live games today. Swansea managed that in a half. For goodness sake guys, between Arsenal, Tottenham and City you couldn't manage one goal against teams conceding 51 goals between them this season...Pull your socks out.

On a final note, how close is it at the top?! Eight teams, six points and any of them could finish top four or even win the title (and yes I know how crazy that sounds but give Southampton some credit).

Tearing up the script

Why football why? Why must you torture us with your insane behaviour? You're like a 4 year old high on chocolate, running around the room screaming and flailing and just when you think you've seen the full of it, they drop-kick your best vase. Just when you think you know something, it toys with you.

And this weekend showed why I love football so much. Just when I thought this blog post would be dedicated to a certain Uruguayan striker who has stolen so many headlines in his career that one more means nothing to him, another striker stepped out of the shadows. A striker who left us on the same weekend that Suarez joined. Hello Fernando. It's been a while.

Torres' life at Chelsea so far has been the mother of all roller-coasters, viciously careering one way then the other, teasing us with his potential before dropping off the grid for games, even months at a time. So many games have epitomised Torres since he joined Chelsea but today he really went for the jugular, as Chelsea welcomed their fierce title rivals, Manchester City, to the Bridge. This was to be a titanic tussle between the two sides people are pipping for the big prize. But it was Torres who stole the show. It started early, with a classic Torres at Chelsea miss. A lovely clipped ball by Ramires, he was in, but under pressure he wilted and smashed it over the top. And that was that. Or so we thought. Just a few minutes later, there was a shocking change of demeanour. Whatever Jose had said to him, it worked, because he skinned Clichy alive, drove to the by-line and beautifully picked out Andre Schurrle to make it 1-0 Chelsea.

Torres continued to stun the visitors, leaving Demichelis, who had a very challenging debut indeed, for dead before checking back and unleashing a barnstorming effort onto the woodwork. For the rest of the first half, he had City on the ropes. City came out an entirely different side though, and after Aguero scored a belter, there was only one side going on to win it. Torres faded into the background, a few hazy runs checked by some brutal City defending and fouling, Garcia and Fernandinho able to find no other way to stop him but managing to through illegal means.

And so the game petered out. It was to end a draw, a decent result for both sides in the end and Torres' role in the weekend would fade amongst the history books. There would be no grand revival. That was what I told myself and I wasn't the only one either, I can tell. Across social networks there was a real sense of: "we've seen this before". Torres would blinker out of form as quickly as he blinkered into it. Of course, this still might well be the case, but then came the moment that not only tore up the script, but pointed at the script writers, laughed in their faces and made obscene gestures at their families. It was just a long ball down field, no danger, but Nastasic and Hart made a complete mess of it. Hart came charging out, Nastasic nodded it past him and Torres did the rest.

What impressed me was Torres' hunger. He was very much alive and alert to any sniff of goal and the second the ball was in the air he was off. As soon as the header was made, he was onto it like a flash and the finish wasn't as easy as Torres made it look. This had all the signs of Torres at his best, the way he played for us back in the day. As I say, we've been here before, but even if it doesn't stick, and even if he fades back into mediocrity, this game will have to be remembered for Torres. And I think this will do wonders for his confidence. Honestly, I'm backing Torres to turn his career around and I think this will be the season he explodes into life for Chelsea. No, really, I'm not joking...

Elsewhere...

• I love Man United, they're so funny. It's a sign of how far they have fallen this season that a scraped home win against Stoke is considered a great result. That said, massive credit to them, because it required a lot of mental strength and courage to bounce back and win the game from the position they were in. They still have some real quality players and although I don't think they'll be anywhere near challenging for the title, they still have a shout of making it into the top 4. But still, they're comedy gold at the moment, please Moyes, keep on losing.
• An absolutely huge win for Sunderland today. Not only their first of the season and their first under Gus Poyet, but in a game that they couldn't afford to lose, at home in the Tyne-Wear derby. But, it has to be said, they need to improve. Newcastle were absolutely wretched today and still could have won the game and probably deserved at least a point. It was an awful game of football, but Fabio Borini lit it up with an absolutely thunderbolt. Why did he never do that for us?
• Poor old Crystal Palace. They just can't catch a break. They're now rock bottom of the table but they give it their all against Arsenal, who spent half an hour or so with 10 men and it just wasn't enough. You have to say, they're looking solid candidates for relegation, almost stone-wall candidates in fact. Bleak times for managerless Palace.
• Spurs continue to win without impressing anyone, even their own supporters. This time, it was a very unfortunate Hull side who lost 1-0 due to another dubious penalty decision. Spurs may need to find their A-game, but they're still 4th and only 3 points off the top. Ominous signs.

Annnd it's Suarez time. I could only put it off so long. Luis Suarez makes it so damn difficult to hate him. He's like a puppy that keeps shitting on the carpet but whenever you punish him for it, he'll bring you the newspaper for a week and you can't help but feel he's too useful to get rid of (okay this was a bad analogy). But despite the fact he's a lying, conniving sack of shit, he keeps on doing things that make you sit up and take notice. This weekend he scored an absolutely stunning hat-trick that had Suarez written all over it. First he slaloms past two defenders, including a cheeky nutmeg that made Jonas Olsson look utterly ridiculous, before rifling home. Then, he scores a header from the flipping 18 yard line (who else would even try such an insane trick) before flicking in a brilliant Steven Gerrard free-kick. Gerrard remains one of the best deliverers in the League, but how Suarez continues to score headers when half his team mates are nearly a foot taller than him is ridiculous. But, not to be outdone, Daniel Sturridge scored an absolutely outrageous chip to make it 4. These two are capable of scoring goals against any team in the world and doing so on a regular basis. Between them they now have 14 of our 17 league goals and it makes our trip to the Emirates next weekend so damn tasty it's unreal. I suspect that'll be the best (and most fucking nerve-racking) game of the season so far. 

Before I go, I'd like to throw a few superlatives the way of Pochettino's Southampton, who are playing brilliant football and fully deserve to be where they are in the table. They completely and utterly outclassed a hapless Fulham side, who were made to look a lot better than they are on Monday by a hapless Palace performance. Martin Jol may have earned a reprieve that night, but if they keep playing like this, the axeman is coming. And fast.

Goals

This weekend has featured some absolutely incredible goals, simply sensational. There's the already infamous Wilshere goal featuring some passes that absolutely stagger belief. The passing and movement was absolutely sublime and some of the best passing you'll see all season, if not for many a season to come.

And on the complete other end of the scale, we have an absolutely incredible volley from Kasami of Fulham, whose rocket had me jumping out of my seat. I was lucky enough to watch this with a Fulham fan and his eyes nearly popped out of his head, only for Steve Sidwell to pull off an almost as good volley minutes later. Volleys are always among the great goals in footballing history. After all, some of the greatest Premier League and all time goals have been volleys. In recent times, we've seen Glen Johnson pull off a couple of absolute rockets for Pompey, Fernando Torres pull a blinder against Blackburn and just last season, young Matt Lowton put in an absolute belter.

Drilled shots from along the ground from tight angles are more popular now than ever, with Sergio Aguero in particular the King of such efforts. Combining both volleys and tight angles, young Januzaj gave us a masterclass in how to do so and no great goals discussion would be complete without mentioning the genius of Zinedine Zidane in the 2002 Champions League Final for Madrid.

Some goals are made perfect by the act of an individual, beating five or six players before rifling home or some brilliant finish to follow. Pires against Villa is the archetype of this, absolute class. You could look at so many great Arsenal players over the Premier Leaue years for this sort of contribution: Henry, Bergkamp, Pires, RVP, Fabregas, even Arshavin on occasion.

Sometimes, goals can be of momentus impact because of their timing rather than the quality. For this, there are moments of pure ingenious gold, such as Frederico Macheda's last gasp winner for United at Villa and Ji's 93rd minute finish against a City side who had thrown everything and the kitchen sink at Sunderland.

Great goals are often definied by great commentary. Gary Neville's infamous orgasms at various points of Chelsea's Champions League campaign define this perfectly, culminating in Didier Drogba's final hurrah for the Blues with a 90th minute leveller in the final against Bayern that was as priceless as Neville's reaction.

We all know of course, that Martin Tyler is the King of great goal commentary and this is never clearer than when City stole the title from United in the dying seconds of their game against QPR, with that man Sergio Aguero scoring a goal that sent the Etihad and Tyler into euphoria. It was incredible.

Tyler was often accompanied by his co-king of commentary Andy Gray, when moments such as Andrey Arshavin's epic 4 goals against Liverpool or England trounced Germany 5-1 were occuring and the pair's commentary matches the epicness of the moments.

And of course, there are players. Scorers if truly incredible goals. Naturally, players of the ilk of Thierry Henry, Maradona and Messi are thrown into the mix, as they scored stunning goals on a regular basis. Ronaldinho, Pele, Wayne Rooney and his plethora of beauties, THAT overhead kick against City being a highlight.

Put all these elements together and what do you get?

Steven Gerrard. Olympiacos. 2005. Growing up as a Liverpool fan, this was THE goal. I think I lost my head when it went in. It has everything you want in a great goal. The circumstances were set, with 5 minutes until Liverpool crashed out of the Champions League at the group stage. The fact we went on to win it that year only adds to the cruciality and brilliance of the goal. And as the ball bounced thirty yards out and Gerrard strode onto it, the technical brilliance of the volley was astounding. Pace, power and inch-perfect accuracy combining to send Anfield into raptures. And what makes this moment one of the greatest ever is the commentary, as Andy Gray completely and utterly loses his head, before he and Tyler compose themselves enough to not even bother to analyse it. It was that brilliant.

For any true football fan, I hope I've reminded you of some of the moments in your life that you truly appreciate and goals that have made you completely lose your mind. And if there's any on here you feel you've missed out on, get on Youtube and get looking, because there are some absolute belters out there.

Brazil 2014 - Here we come

So we made it. It was a tough route, but everything went just about as perfectly as it could have done. We walked past Montenegro in the end, and although we had some nervy moments against the Polish, courtesy of one Robert Lewandowski, we still outplayed them and comfortably beat them. We made things hard on ourselves with too many draws early on in the group, but I don't think there's anyone out there who can dispute that England deserve their place in Brazil. We didn't lose a single game and we only dropped two points at Wembley. In that context, draws in Ukraine and Poland aren't exactly bad results and if we'd been able to do the job in Montenegro, it would be looking like a fairly flawless display.

That said, England were far from perfect throughout this qualifying campaign and there are many lessons to be learned if we're going to be able to challenge in Brazil. And let me clear that up right now, I think we can challenge in Brazil. I think we have to stay calm and not get overly excited or pessimistic because, reasonably, the quarter finals should be our aim, depending on how the group and last 16 draws play out. There are a lot of people who think England aren't even in the top 8 teams in the world and I think that we are certainly in and around the top 10, so finishing in the last 8 isn't an unrealistic goal. I think certainly Brazil on their home turf and Argentina are both significantly better sides than us and should both make it to the semi-finals, along with Spain (who for some reason people continue to write off, despite the fact I think they should still be favourites to win it) and the Germans. I think those are the only four sides who are miles ahead of us and who arguably, we'd need a lot of luck and to play above our best to win.

But apart from those 4 sides, I don't think there's anyone to be scared of. Uruguay, who are certainly a threat, still haven't secured qualification and have to go through the play-offs, (though they'll almost certainly beat Jordan), likewise the French and Portuguese who are both dangerous opponents but still easily beatable. I can't see anyone from outside Europe or South America threatening us too much if we play near our best which only leaves a handful of teams. The likes of Holland, Italy and Belgium are the only other sides I think are better than us and all of them are beatable certainly, the Dutch had a torrid time of Euro 2012 and the Belgians have little big tournament experience under their belts. The Italians did us in in Euro 2012, but it's worth remembering that was only on pens.

My point is that although it's highly unlikely we're going to get past the last 8, we should aim for that and take it a game at a time, because nobody is unbeatable. England have secured some great results in friendlies recently but more importantly, we have a young squad and a lot of talent coming through. The likes of Andros Townsend and Daniel Sturridge are relative unknowns at the top level and could turn into world beaters by Brazil. We have the capability in our side to beat almost anyone and certainly cause an upset and let's be honest, there aren't many teams who would be happy to draw us.

Onto the matches themselves. I played a drinking game with a friend during the Montenegro game. The first half, we drank very little but by the end, we were smashed, which says everything you need to know about the quality of the game. It is truly, a game of two halves. We created a lot of chances overall and it was fairly comprehensive in the end, with Townsend, Rooney and Sturridge all finishing the match on the scoresheet, with a bizarre own goal thrown in there.

The Poland game, is fresher in my mind and I was in a much better state to remember it in any case. Cahill and Jagielka are forming a partnership but there's certainly a spot up for grabs at centre half if the likes of Dawson, Jones and Lescott have a good season and I don't understand why Chris Smalling was playing at right back. Baines, however, was excellent coming forward, though I maintain we were still too open down the right on the break. Bringing in Carrick into the midfield was a great decision and even though his captain and partner wasn't at his best, he scored a brilliant goal late on.

Further up the pitch, Andros Townsend continued to look exciting, with the ability to beat a player like I've not seen in a while, a great turn of pace and a thumping shot on him. Plus he looks fairly two-footed. He was a nuisance all game and the Polish were scared of him. As for the other side...well I've given up trying to think of ways to say Danny Welbeck is a useless sack of shit, which I screamed numerous times during the game as he conspired to waste most of England's best opportunities. In fairness though, Sturridge wasn't on his game either and looks like he needs time to adjust to the international stage. Rooney however, was magnificent and fully deserved his goal.

England have a diverse range of attacking threats at their disposal and they have a lot of top quality young players, the likes of Sterling, Morrison, Barkley and Townsend, not to mention Caulker and Sturridge. The point is, they have the capability to be set in the long haul and with a few additions to the squad, we could feature very prominently in Brazil. Or end up in Spain's group, pull an England and flop like a damp squid, as we usually do. Either way, you know as an England fan, it'll be a brutal exercise leading to heart failure. Until then, the Premiership is back in three days and we're going to St James' Park. Come on you Reds.

Autumn TV - The Preliminary Review

So a while back, I posted a list of 5 TV shows I was waiting to return from across the Atlantic. Well they're back and I've had a chance to examine all of them, as well as some others from both American TV and also some from over here as well. So, here we go, and (obviously) SPOILERS in some cases.

5. How I Met Your Mother 7/10

I'm being a bit generous in giving HIMYM a 7 because in truth, I'm mainly watching the show for sentiment rather than laughs. Whilst this isn't in itself necessarily a bad thing, the fact that both Big Bang and New Girl are light-years funnier is more than slightly depressing. That's not to say it's not funny at points, but it's consistently not as funny as the others, or in truth, than itself even 3 years ago. I really enjoyed the back end of Series 8 and it's not that I'm not enjoying it now (Barney's Game of Thrones joke the personal highlight for me so far) but it's not delivering enough laughs. What it is doing, is looking to end a very strong 8 year run properly and I still care a great deal for the characters and I like what they're doing with them. But, so far, I've been thoroughly underwhelmed.

4. Elementary 7/10

Just as I was torn between a 6 and a 7 for How I Met Your Mother, I was torn between 7 and 8 here. Elementary isn't spectacular, it's not reinventing the wheel, but what it does do, it does well. It's a fun, good old fashioned crime drama with Sherlock Holmes being a nice twist. Both of the main characters are excellent and I'm a huge Johnny Lee Miller fan (I loved him in Dexter) but it is all a little too pedestrian at this stage in the game. The problem is, they introduced Moriarty and then they locked her up. Whilst it was a great self-contained story and the repercussions of it are still manifest in the show, Sherlock is now lacking a decent adversary and the show is suffering for that. None of the three episodes thus far have posed any real threat, although they've all been interesting in their own way. I think when you take two of your main players in the game (Irene Adler and Moriarty) and utilise them so effectively so early, you leave little room for improvement and it seems like Elementary is unable to sustain that momentum, although it is setting up some intriguing plot points along the way (I can't wait to see more of Mycroft or Lestrade and Moriarty clearly isn't gone from Sherlock's life). A lacklustre, but promising start.

3. The Big Bang Theory 8/10

Another one where I'm torn, this time between 8 and 9. I expected Big Bang to be right at the top of this list but so far it's not quite hit its heights. It's still extremely funny and there have been stand out moments in every episode so far (Raj and Howard touching each other up, Sheldon asking Leonard if there's anything that Amy loves that has a lot of glaring faults she hasn't noticed and of course, my new favourite Sheldon line of all time: My brain. Is Smarter. THAN EVERYBODY'S) but it's not quite there. It's not consistently hitting all the right notes and there's no sustained period of laughs, even though they are there. It's also looking to mix and match it's character dynamic as much as possible, which is fun to watch, and the scenes between Howard and Amy in ep 3 were a joy, but I've never been a massive fan of Bernadette and Raj seems to be being relegated to side roles once again. Nevertheless, The Big Bang Theory is as strong as ever, even if it can't quite reach or exceed the unbelievable standards I've set for it. Unlike most comedies and many shows, and certainly unlike How I Met Your Mother, we're now into series 7 and there has been no dramatic or even slight decline in quality.

2. New Girl 9/10

One programme that has both reached and so far exceeded the expectations I had for it was New Girl. After a muddled first season, last year's run found some real consistency and this upward trajectory culminated in a hilarious ending to series 2, which has been picked up on again this term. I laughed more in the opening twenty seconds of episode 2 than I did in the entirety of the two-part series opener for HIMYM and New Girl is right now, the funniest show on television in my view. The reason for this is that the three main male leads bounce off each other incredibly and they're all equally hilarious in their own ways. Winston is completely and utterly insane and watching him struggle to overcome every day situations such as making a jigsaw puzzle or booking a table in a restaurant is side-splitting, whilst Schmidt's descent in bitter jealousy is as painful as it is funny. Nick continues to get the best lines and Jake Johnson is probably the most naturally funny member of the group (although they're all excellent) and the net result is that at times Zooey Deschanel feels like she gets lost in their wake. That said, she does a fantastic job as the loveable Jess and the entire cast is supplemented brilliantly by an excellent guest cast that each week improve the show. New Girl is still in its infancy, but if it can sustain it's current run of form, it'll soon become must-watch TV and it should be up there in the ratings. It's understandable that it lost a lot of viewers between series 1 and 2 as the first series wasn't great but hopefully the third season will grab the majority of those viewers back as it really is a great show.

1. Arrow 10/10

Arrow has the advantage (or dis-advantage?) of being the show on this list I've seen the least of, as whilst the others all have 3/4 episodes out already, Arrow only had its season 2 opener on Wednesday. However, it was ultimately flawless and I'm going to wax lyrical about it. Unlike the other shows so far, prepare yourself for MASSIVE spoilers, both for the end of series 1 and the start of series 2, so if you've not watched it, go and do so, because it's bloody brilliant. Right then. City of Heroes was the third best piece of television unveiled this year for me, behind only The Name of the Doctor and the Red Wedding. The problem with a lot of shows, and this includes Doctor Who, is that when something seismic happens, the characters tend to sweep it under the carpet out of necessity. Character deaths tend to linger for a few eps then they're replaced and business as usual because that's how the show functions. The Doctor spends his final days as 10 thinking he can never have a companion again because of what happens to them and then scared of what he's become and then BANG! when he regenerates it's like a reset button on his problems.

City of Heroes however, sees the entirety of the show fundamentally rocked to its core by the events of the series 1 finale. Oliver has gone back to the island, isolating himself away from the people he cares about, partially to protect them and partially to punish himself for his role in Tommy's death and the destruction of the Glades. The thing was, all the relationships in the episode felt perfectly pitched. It's understandable that after losing his best friend, Ollie would vanish for 5 months "In Europe" away from everything. Laurel, Thea and Moira are a lot more appreciative of this than they have been in the past and Thea's anger at her mother, coupled with her eventual forgiveness, both feel completely natural reactions, the mixture of love, confusion and understandable anger. Likewise, it feels right that Oliver and Laurel aren't in a position to continue their romantic entanglement because of their guilt, but they're still close and cannot deny the way they feel. Det. Lance, relegated after his screw up at the end of season 1, has a new stance on the vigilante that feels right, as does Laurel's hatred towards Ollie when he puts on the hood.

But it's the central trio of Oliver, Diggle and Felicity that are at the heart of the show. Emily Bett Rickards was only supposed to be in one scene in Series 1, but the fact is, she has such a phenomenal natural chemistry with Stephen Amell (who is genuinely smiling in that scene, he's not in character) that her role was expanded and it's no surprise that the more involved in the show she's been, the better it has been. Felicity is the best character by a mile. But away from the characters, this series feels perfectly balanced. By having a smaller, but no less crucial island segment (Ollie's development on the island is awesome) we are given more room to breathe and the mixture of emotion, humour and action feels superb, and the action scenes remain some of the best on TV. Oliver's development is critical and it flows from the end of the last season. He doesn't want to put the hood back on, as he realises he really was everything Tommy and others said he was: a murderous vigilante. He grew as series 1 did but ultimately, his best friend died believing he was a murderer and he refuses to be that killer. He has to honour Tommy's memory and do that, he has to acknowledge that he doesn't have to kill to be that vigilante, there is another way. Losing the name The Hood is part of that, the name represents who he was. Scraping the list, Oliver is no longer a soldier on a mission, but he's on the way to being a bona fide hero.

I jumped for joy, laughed, cried and punched the air throughout this series opener and the fact that I've written a whole essay on it while I haven't on others tells you everything you need to know. This has been my favourite piece of TV for a long time and if series 2 continues in this vein, then Arrow is going to become one of the best shows on TV.

The best of the rest:

Waterloo Road: My guilty pleasure, it's continuing to tug at the heart strings but this season feels a lot more lethargic than the last, although I loved the last episode, I feel like losing Grantly means you lose a lot of the show's heart and it's last original cast member. He will be missed.

Atlantis: The first two episodes of what is effectively a like-for-like replacement for Merlin (which I loved so if Atlantis can reach Merlin status, then it's going to do well) felt very below par but it's important to remember that shows can take time to find their feet. Arrow and Merlin are two perfect examples of this, Arrow in the space of a season has gone from being okay to the best superhero show on TV. So there's room for improvement but keep the faith. Episode 3 was a big step up and this show could have legs.

Agents of Shield: This is being pitched as basically the Avengers on the small screen. I must admit, I'm smitten with this show. It's not complicated, it's not boring, it's just a fun little action/adventure flick on the small screen, it feels like a superhero movie downsized. I love all the cast (who doesn't love Coulson?) and whilst it won't win any awards for originality or be truly gripping, it is a lot of fun and can't be faulted for that.

And while we're at it, there are a few big hitters returning in 2014, namely Game of Thrones (if you haven't the books then this season is going to fuck with your head), Suburgatory (although I'm probably the only person on the planet who watches it) and Hannibal. But until then, I'm more than happy with what I've got and it's only 6 weeks or so til the Doctor Who 50th, which is literally the single piece of television that I have been most excited for in my entire life. Also, if you haven't already, watch Dexter. I ploughed through all 8 seasons and it's bloody brilliant for the first 6/7 of them, but it suffers from HIMYM syndrome. And yes, I'm making that a thing.

England gun for Brazil

The Scenario

We've reached the final straight, where everything finally comes together. Will it end up like Croatia or will England make it to Brazil in 2014? Of course, there is still the possibility of having to face a play off to make it and at this stage, anything can happen. England's group is very finely poised with every team having two fixtures left to play. England lie 1 point ahead of Ukraine and Montenegro and Poland. 6 points would guarantee England top spot and qualification but if they slip up it gets murky. With Poland and Ukraine going head to head on Friday, the best result England can hope for is a draw, as that would leave England almost guaranteed victory should they beat Montenegro. However, should Ukraine win, an England victory would guarantee them at least a play off place but they'd need to beat Poland to secure top spot, as the chances of Ukraine dropping points in their last game against San Marino are roughly the same as an asteroid destroying all life on earth. In any case, 4 points is an absolute minimum. There can be no slip ups. 4 points would basically mean we've got at least a play off spot but anything less and we can probably forget about Brazil.

The Squad

So, the squad. I have no qualms about the goalkeeping department. With Ben Foster injured and Fraser Forster in wicked form for Celtic, it's a no-brainer that he's the immediate cover for Hart. John Ruddy may have made a bad mistake on Sunday for Norwich but he's still as good a choice for a backup keeper as any, although I'd like to see more of the likes of Alex McCarthy and Jack Butland at Premier League level. Defensively, Cole and Baines were always going to be chosen at left back and quite right too. As for right back, with Johnson injured, Kyle Walker is the only natural right back in the squad, though both Jones and Smalling are very versatile and both are more than capable of playing there. As for centre back, with the afore mentioned Smalling and Jones offering options, I'm still a little bit disappointed to see no Joleon Lescott in the side along with Cahill (who's not getting enough games) and Jagielka. Speaking of defenders who should be in there, surely Michael Dawson of Spurs must be hammering on the door with his side's defensive record this season?

As for the midfield, here I think there has clearly been a mistake. We have six central midfielders in the side but only two wingers. This will clearly connect with the striking options, where he's gone for five strikers but clearly is going to play Welbeck on the left. Even if we accept Welbeck as a left winger, that still only leaves 3 wide midfielders in the side, compared to six in the centre. I appreciate that Theo Walcott and Alex Oxlaide-Chamberlain are both injured and Aaron Lennon is nowhere near the set up at the moment. We do have other options, but with Downing requiring a few games back to get into the swing of things, I can appreciate there are few options but options they are nevertheless. Gabby Agbonlahor is in very good form for Villa and would work brilliantly on the wings as part of an attacking three behind a lone striker, or as a wide man in a 4-4-2 formation. Likewise, Wayne Routledge has done enough to earn a call up in my view, and whilst we have a lot of good central midfielders, the team we have does not favour a 4-3-3 with three centre mids. And even if the six central midfielders were worth the call up (they're not) in what possible world does he need exact cover for all three central midfielders, especially when he has both Phil Jones AND James Milner as options. But wait, he has to play Milner out on the right/left because he has no other wingers in the squad, but if he picked another bloody winger we wouldn't have this problem! I understand everyone loves Jack Wilshere blah blah blah but he's not good enough to be in the side and he's not in good form. Likewise both Carrick and Cleverly, especially the latter.

This obsession with picking players from Man Utd (6 in all, at least half of which should not be in the squad) just because they play for United is ridiculous. At least he refrained from picking the abysmally out of form Ashley Young (although I'd pick an out of form overrated winger over an out of form overrated central midfielder at this moment in time). I'd have dropped Cleverly, Smalling and Welbeck from the squad and replaced them with Dawson, Agbonlahor and Routledge, because none of them are playing consistently or well at club level and whilst I can appreciate the argument to keep Welbeck in the squad based on his England form, the same cannot be said of the other two. And yes I know, I'm biased against United but if you're going to base your argument on the fact that United's reserves are better than the rest of the English players in the league (they're not) then this argument loses a lot of credence when United are struggling. Hodgson keeps on picking the same overrated players and not giving others a chance to shine. That said, I'm very pleased to see both Barkley and Townsend in the squad, because they're two young players that I rate very highly indeed and both have a bright future. I don't think either of them will start and maybe that's wise, but I'd like to see them both given a chance. The one area I can't complain about is the strike force (putting Welbeck into the winger bracket for the moment) as Defoe, Rooney, Sturridge and Lambert are probably the four best English strikers in the Prem at the moment.

The Team

So then, who would make my starting 11. Starting in goal. Despite the calls for Fraser Forster to come into the side after a few errors from Joe Hart, I think in such a big game and in such a key position, you have to go with your number 1 and I think that unless Hart makes a big mistake in the Montenegro game, he has to play in both games. Hodgson definitely should give Forster a chance and arguably should have given Forster a chance before now, but it's too late to try and test now, so he's got to stick with Hart, especially after publicly backing him. I expect Hart to play and I think that's the right call. Obviously, Forster will be deputising in case of injury or red card, but otherwise, it'll be Joe all the way.

Our back 4 basically selects itself. With only one natural right back in the side in Kyle Walker, he has to play and likewise at left back, with Ashley Cole injured Baines will definitely start against Montenegro and it'll be interesting to see which way they go against Poland, should Cole be fit to play. It'll all depend on Baines' performance in the Montenegro game, but I still think Cole is a better full back and should be given priority. As for centre back, Chris Smalling hasn't played there in yonks and as excellent as Phil Jones was against Sunderland, he needs a regular run of games at the heart of the United defence and I think now is as good a chance as any to get it. United look very vulnerable with both Vidic and Ferdinand horribly out of form and I think Moyes should give Jones a string of games in that role, which could (although I'm getting ahead of myself) lead to him being first choice centre half in Brazil (assuming Hodgson doesn't fuck it up and we get there). For now, however, it still has to be Cahill and Jagielka, though if I was Gary Cahill, I'd be very worried about the fact that David Luiz seems to be first choice to partner Terry at the heart of the Chelsea defence.

Now into the midfield. For me, Hodgson has to go with a 4-2-3-1, leaving him with just two "holding" central midfielders, even if in actual fact neither of them will do that much holding. The reasoning for this is that the strike force chooses itself, and even if it didn't, it's more than Hodgson's job is worth to drop Wayne Rooney. He never will, he doesn't have the balls but thankfully, for once, I just about think he should start anyway. So with Rooney playing just off the front, that means he obviously can't play Gerrard, Lampard and Wilshere in the centre of midfield. The obvious choice to be dropped is Wilshere, and I really hope he is dropped, although I suspect it may be Lampard who does see the axe. Gerrard is a no brainer, he simply has to play, being captain and the best centre-mid of the bunch. Who plays alongside him? My head says Lampard but my heart says Barkley. Whilst I previously made the argument about not throwing inexperienced players into the cauldron of a crucial international game, I'd really love to see Ross Barkley given a go alongside Gerrard, although his attacking nature may mean England lack balance in that midfield. He has a lot to his game and he's playing as well as anyone at the moment. Cleverly and Carrick are both playing below par and Wilshere has done nothing to impress me, even without being outshone by the likes of Ozil and Ramsey. At risk of sticking with the old guard, Lampard it is. The wide areas are a somewhat easier area to cover. With only Milner, Welbeck and Townsend as options, it seems to me that me and Hodgson are going to disagree on this area. I would go with Milner on the left and Townsend on the right (or the other way round it's not essential) but Hodgson will go with (I think) Milner and Welbeck. The logic is sound enough, with Milner offering a lot of defensive cover which will be required with two marauding full backs in Baines and Walker and Welbeck being in good form for England (against opposition not fit to lace the boots of the likes of Brazil or Argentina but still) but I think Townsend is a stunning young player who ended last season in great nick and has picked up where he left off so far this campaign. One slightly controversial option might be to play Phil Jones out on the right, allowing him and Walker to interchange positions at will and offering more stability on that flank. Against Montenegro this won't be an issue but against the likes of Blaszczykowski (and yes I had to google the spelling for that I couldn't even get close), we can't afford to have both Baines and Welbeck stuck in the opposing half whilst he runs riot in ours.

And finally, up front. I've already said that Rooney has to play in that number 10 role, linking between the midfield and the front. Now I'm a Liverpool fan, that much should be obvious unless you've never read my blog and can't seem to grasp the concept I don't like Man Utd. So my choice for striker should be inherently obvious, even if it wasn't for the fact that he's the top scorer in the league, in the form of his life and basically the best striker in England this year. Daniel Sturridge has to start. End of. Unless he gets injured, I wouldn't play Lambert or Defoe or frankly anyone ahead of him at the moment.

So to clarify, a 4-2-3-1:

Hart

Walker
Cahill
Jagielka
Baines

Gerrard
Lampard

Townsend
Rooney
Milner

Sturridge

With either Lambert or Defoe replacing maybe Milner or Rooney off the bench after 60/70 minutes depending on how the game is going, with Jones also a great versatile option from the bench. I'd pick this side for both games, although obviously both injury and suspension could play a part and also if someone has a shocker against Montenegro (depending on who they are obviously) this could also change. Also, I think Hodgson won't agree with me. I think he won't play Townsend or Lampard, choosing to go with Wilshere and Welbeck instead. It's also possible he'll go with Rooney or Sturridge in a wide role and play Wilshere instead of Milner, which for me would be a huge mistake but still, Hodgson clearly doesn't value any of his wide players.

I'll report back after the Montenegro game, but I think we'll pick up the three points required to leave us on the brink of qualification. Fingers crossed.

Papering Over the Cracks

Another incredible weekend of football that started in Manchester and finished in North London as City looked to flash their title credentials, Chelsea and United both managed to grind out results they didn't really deserve, the SAS partnership flattened Palace, the Arsenal juggernaut hit a speed bump and the Spurs train suffered a dramatic derailment. So let's take a look at the results and where we're at going into the second international break.

Man City 3-1 Everton

I've seen nothing to convince me that City aren't the best side in the Premier League at the moment. The fact that they're currently in 5th, behind Liverpool, Arsenal, Chelsea and Southampton is more a testament to their inconsistency than their quality. They got a lot of luck in this result but nevertheless they completely deserved it. Toure and Zabaleta were excellent as usual but Alvaro Negredo was the star of the show for me. His hold up play is excellent and his goal was superbly taken, even if neither goalkeeper showered themselves in glory in this display. I was halfway through lamenting Sergio Aguero's wastefulness in the first half (three glorious chances spurned) before he stopped me mid-sentence with a stunning finish to put City in front and from there they never looked back. Everton have a lot of good players but aside from Lukaku and Barkley, I'm not sure they have enough quality in the final third. The likes of Mirallas and Naismith are decent players, but not in the same league as the likes of David Silva or Aguero. Everton will challenge for the top 6/7 places but they will ultimately, I think drop short. And whilst Lukaku is a good short term option, they need a long term world class striker, which they currently do not possess. If City can play this well coming forward every week (despite the fact that their penalty was as much a penalty as the two shouts Everton had which is not at all) they'll win the title but they need to shore up at the back. Kompany injured (AGAIN) is a blow and Lescott and Nastasic shouldn't be in the same side as him, good as they are. And I remain unconvinced about Fernandinho.

Liverpool 3-1 Crystal Palace

Brendan Rodgers felt the need to come out after this game and reiterate the fact that Liverpool have possibly the best strike force in the league. He need not have bothered. Daniel Sturridge and Luis Suarez are both in my opinion in the top 5 strikers in the league (RVP, Aguero and Benteke being the others) and Suarez remains in my view the crème de-la crème of Premier League attackers. They both scored stunning goals, with Suarez finding the net from basically falling over and Sturridge rifling in a strike to match Aguero's from a tight angle. Bang. Bang. Game over in 17 minutes. The two not only are both fantastic strikers in their own right and their goal tallys over the last 14 months or so speak for themselves (Sturridge has 19 goals in 25 games since joining Liverpool, Suarez has 32 in 47 since the start of last season unless I'm mistaken) but they're developing a terrific understanding and this looks to be an exciting season for us Liverpool fans. Nevertheless there are problems. The propensity to shut down in the second half (though understandable as we were 3-0 up here) is worrying and defensively we look very vulnerable off set-pieces. Toure and Skrtel have been excellent so far but Sakho has had a mixed time of it. That said, with injuries and suspensions to key players plaguing us, we currently sit joint top with 5 wins, 1 draw and 1 defeat and we're in prime position. Palace meanwhile, look like a side in real trouble. Yes they've had tough fixtures but they don't look like they can cope with the pace of the league in any department of the pitch and it could be a long season for them.

Sunderland 1-2 Man United

7 points from 4 games was a below par start. 7 points from 7 games would have been a disaster. United were staring down the barrel of a third straight humiliating defeat at the hands of a managerless Sunderland side that are yet to win a single game all season. And they would have deserved it (both sides). Giaccherini was everywhere and only a fine save by De Gea and a poor pull back from Adam Johnson after single-handedly walking through the United defence prevented him scoring twice and United being 3-0 down at half time. Nemanja Vidic had an abysmal game, clearing straight to Gardner to rifle home the opener before on more than one occasion miscuing a clearance and deservedly booked after conceding a handful of free kicks in very good areas. Rooney and Van Persie were anonymous, the latter coming into the game late on to fire wide when set through on goal. He hasn't scored from open play since the opening day and neither had United. Carrick continues to be neat and tidy in midfield but not more than that and if you put pressure on him, he wilts, as the excellent Cattermole, Ki and Gardner did for the first hour or so of the game. Nani continues to look like he's going to do something and then fail miserably and whilst he was arguably United's best option coming forward for most of the game, it astonishes me that people call Evra a defender as he was awful at that part of his job all day.

That said, there were obviously positives for United. Phil Jones was the only member of the back four who looked like he knew what he was doing, barring a couple of early errors (which in his defence he made up for) he was very solid, dealing well with the handful that was Jozy Altidore in a way that Vidic looked incapable of doing. Tom Cleverly in the midfield gets a lot of stick but he had a great game, making 8 tackles and had a pass accuracy of 95% with 25 of his 65 passes being in the final third and he created 2 chances. But obviously, there was only one star of the show. Young Adnan Januzaj was excellent. He looked the most likely to cause problems for the Sunderland back four early on, despite the fact that they looked mostly solid (despite John O'Shea's best efforts) with good support from midfield and lots of men behind the ball. Januzaj's goals were both of the highest quality and he looks a cracking young winger, showing more than Nani, Valencia or the god awful Young have shown so far this season. The only poor note from him on an otherwise terrific day was his horrifically blatant dive that deservedly earned him a booking.

On this show, Sunderland don't deserve to go down but then that's been the way they've played all season, unable to get any results out of it. As for United, I can't see them winning the league. Hell I can't even see them finishing in the top 4 at this rate. They've only put in one even remotely impressive performance all season and that was on the opening day. They're a mile away from the likes of Liverpool and Arsenal at the moment, even if it is only 6 points. And they need to improve soon. This result only papered over the cracks in their side. Moyes doesn't know what his best 11 is, his supposed big players aren't performing and without Rooney in the side they have zero creativity, without RVP almost zero goals. They look shaky at the back and whilst you'd expect a full strength City side to brutally expose their flaws, you wouldn't expect a bottom of the league Sunderland side to. But they nearly did.

Norwich 1-3 Chelsea

Chelsea are a side in transition under Jose Mourinho. Like Moyes, Mourinho doesn't know what his best 11 is and this is worrying for them. They have a lot of quality in their midfield, that much is obvious and the fact that Oscar, Hazard and Willian all got on the scoresheet today shows that but they're struggling to score enough goals, with Torres, Ba and Eto'o all failing to score in the league last season whilst Lukakuvand Sturridge bang them in elsewhere and Chelsea fans bang their heads against a wall. Nevertheless, it's important for them to bear in mind that Lukaku will be back next season, even better than when he left (if that's even possible). It's odd, but Chelsea seem to be making a habit of turning brilliant goalscorers useless. When he joined, Torres was one of the best strikers in Europe but he's never even come close to recreating that form. Ba was on fire for Newcastle but since he joined, the goals dried up. Sturridge (who admittedly was being played badly out of position and never given a run of games) has looked twice the player at Liverpool and Bolton than he did at the Blues and it remains to be seen if Lukaku can bang them in for Chelsea. As for this game, they were very lucky to come out with all three points. Norwich maybe suffered a case of overconfidence as they piled players forward looking to beat the Blues with the game finely poised at 1-1 with a little over five minutes left, but that's no excuse for the horrific piece of defending from Tete to allow Hazard to get the ball and John Ruddy made an absolute howler of an attempt to stop Hazard's shot rolling past him and over the line. Willian's goal a few moments later however, was nothing Norwich should be ashamed of, but a stunning piece of individual brilliance. Chelsea have quality everywhere on the pitch and if they can get just one of their strikers near his best form, they'll be almost unstoppable.

West Brom 1-1 Arsenal

The fact that Jack Wilshere scored is ironic because up until that point he was probably the worst player on the pitch. He was absolutely awful for so much of the game that it was almost inevitable he would find the net. Credit to West Brom though, because they played out of their skins again today on the back of a fantastic win against United last weekend. Mulumbu and Yacob are both brilliant at what they do and Yacob even managed to pop up and score their goal, a fully deserved one and a brilliant move that caught the Arsenal defence napping. West Brom got plenty of men behind the ball and stopped Arsenal playing, but they also broke quickly with pace and men up the pitch and will feel unlucky not to have picked up all three points. Arsenal will be glad they picked up a point to keep themselves top but they'll also be disappointed that after a run of 10 straight wins, they've come crashing down to earth. Even so, they're starting to look the real deal.

And in the games I didn't watch...

Speaking of sides that came crashing down to earth, Spurs were humbled by a West Ham side who hadn't won since the opening day before they scored 3 goals without reply at White Hart Lane. A fantastic result for the Hammers but it has turned a lot of people against Andre Villas-Boas for his controversial team selection. Personally I think even a £26m striker has to earn his way into the team and two penalties are not enough to do so when Defoe is banging them in in Europe (admittedly obviously against lower opposition). Spurs haven't impressed me yet coming forward but defensively they've been excellent so it was a real shock to see them concede more goals in 12 minutes this afternoon than in the previous 6 games put together. But well played West Ham, who needed a good result to stop the rot and I'm pleased for them.

People laughed at Southampton when members of the side suggested that they were aiming for Champions League football. Even now it seems an unrealistic ambition but three straight wins and they're sat 4th with 14 points, more than Everton, City, Spurs and United. They have the best defensive record in the league, having conceded just 2 goals in 7 games and they have real quality in all areas of the pitch. Today's 2-0 win over Swansea is a great result for them, even with the Swans possibly suffering a European hangover. It's not been easy for Swansea this season but I'm confident they'll secure another mid-table finish with the players that they have at their disposal.

Fulham picked a much needed 1-0 win over Stoke on Saturday afternoon that drags them up to 17th on alphabetical order of all things. It's not exactly my preferred way to stay out of the drop zone but hey whatever works. They may have had more than a little luck along the way but good tenacity and a good goalscorer are always going to benefit you in the long run. In Darren Bent, Fulham have a man capable of finding the net at any time and he's a real asset for them. As for Stoke, they have a lot of work to do after their good start to the season went off the rails. Three straight defeats and they're not scoring anywhere near enough goals. Worrying times for Mark Hughes as he tries to change the footballing philosophy of this Stoke side.

Newcastle lifted themselves up to 11th with a huge morale boosting victory against newly-promoted Cardiff thanks to two goals from new French striker Loic Remy. There's no denying that this boy is quality, with 5 goals to his name so far this season in the league (only Daniel Sturridge has more) and Newcastle are going need him and Papiss Cisse to find form and score a lot of goals if they're going to stay in this league because they have a lot of problems defensively. Only Palace and Sunderland have conceded more goals this season. Cardiff's form has been mixed all season and this is another huge blow for them but they can't get disheartened. I've not seen enough of them to make too many judgements but they do have some good players and if they can grind out more results like last week's win over Fulham then they have a good chance of staying up.

And the drab draw result of the week goes to Hull and Villa, who failed to score at the KC. This leaves Villa unbeaten in 3 and Hull unbeaten in 4! Another great result for the Tigers, as Villa are a very dangerous side, especially away from home, though they clearly lacked attacking quality without the injured Christian Benteke. Hull look a solid unit and they're doing really well so I wish them all the best. As for Villa, it's not an ideal result, but it's far from a disaster either.

Dissecting the Derby and other football related nonesense

The Manchester Derby was today (in case you've been living under a rock somewhere) and United were thrashed by City 4-1, a scoreline that is just about fair. The first half was utterly one-sided and City were by far the better side, scoring twice through a stunning Aguero volley and a Toure finish off a corner. The two goals just after the break from Aguero and Nasri killed the game somewhat, and after that United played a lot better and pulled one back but it was still a stunning performance and result from City. So let's look at some of the key elements in the win:

Kompany v Rooney

Some people have said Rooney played well today, as well as he could have, but the simple matter of fact was that Kompany completely shut him out of the game. Only once or twice in the first half was Rooney able to drop deep and influence the play. The rest of the half, he was well and truly in Kompany's pocket. Every time the ball went up to him, Kompany stepped up and won virtually every battle with the forward. He did manage to roll him in behind once but was offside at the time. His set piece delivery was dismal up until his goal (a consolation United barely deserved but a great strike nevertheless) whilst Kompany marauded at times, his position influencing the third goal.

Robin Van Persie

There can't be very many United fans who weren't cursing that RVP wasn't fit to play today and his absence from the team was obvious. Danny Welbeck isn't even in the same bracket as RVP and was completely devoid of any presence on the game. That said, I believe that RVP wouldn't have really influenced the result anyway, as United weren't creating anything and were getting dominated in the midfield. Maybe it would've allowed Rooney to drop deeper and influence the game, but this is simply speculation anyway. A team as good as Man United should be able to if not replace their main striker, at least cope without him and today they simply didn't.

Aguero and Negredo

In my opinion, Sergio Aguero is up there with Luis Suarez and RVP as one of the top three strikers in the division (sorry Benteke, Sturridge or Giroud fans of which I am all 3). He has been class at times and today he was excellent as ever, but a lot of credit should go to Negredo, who didn't score himself but certainly played his part. His control and pass for Aguero's second were excellent and his overall link up play with Aguero was very good. My only slight criticism was his tendancy to shoot from range, but there's not a whole lot wrong with a confident striker if he has the ability to finish.

The Midfield Battle

Although you could argue that Man City outplayed United in every single position of the pitch (which they did), the majority of the difference came in the midfield. Fernandinho is yet to convince a lot of people of his quality but the midfield looks a lot better with him in it as far as I'm concerned. Jesus Navas probably won't get an easier game all season in truth but still looked very good and set up the fourth goal. Nasri got a goal himself and his passing was very strong but the best player on the pitch in that first half was Yaya Toure. The big man won every tackle, tracked back brilliantly, passed brilliantly but most of all he was strong. He butchered Fellaini and Carrick in the central area and won virtually every duel and grabbed a goal to his name as well. In contrast, Valenica's lax tracking back led to the first goal and he only took on Kolarov once or twice in the whole match, choosing instead to shoot tamely from range or fall over in the hopes of winning a pen. Young on the other side was absolutely dire and both Carrick and Fellaini struggled to get any sort of foothold in the game. They were outmuscled, out played and simply out classed.

Ultimately, United looked very short on quality today. We've been saying all season how reliant they've been on Rooney and Van Persie and that showed. With RVP out and the best centre half in the league keeping Rooney out of the match, United looked dreadful on the ball and not a lot better off it. But credit to City. They've underperformed so far this season but today they played at their best and they were terrific. The likes of Toure, Kompany and Aguero are among the best in the world in their positions and the supporting cast all did their bit. I've been saying since we started that City have by far the best starting 11 in the league and probably the best in depth squad. Today they proved that emphatically. The challenge now is to get some consistency and play this well every week. If they do, the title is theirs, because Chelsea and United both look vulnerable. Moyes has a big job to do in picking his team up and the midweek game against us could be massive for them.

Elsewhere in the football world:

• Another excellent display from an Arsenal side down to the bare bones of a squad to see off a potentially tricky game against Stoke and move top. 4 wins in a row after that opening day defeat and they are looking impressive. 
• Likewise, Spurs continue to look very good defensively, but once again had to grind out a very tough result as they edged out a valiant Cardiff side in the 90th minute. But they need to play better.
• I have a huge admiration for Swansea and the way they do things and after a staggering midweek result, they got the job done in the league. As for their opponents Palace, these are very dark times.
• Hull City were fantastic again on Saturday and got another big result, this time at St James' Park. 7 points off Cardiff, Newcastle and Norwich shows they have what it takes to stay in this league (and yes I know I keep changing my mind on Hull every week and probably will until the season ends). 
• Chelsea need time to settle under Mourinho and I don't think they'll win the title this year, but they will probably win something and be a lot stronger next year. Today's opponents Fulham need to get some points on the board if they want to avoid being sucked into the relegation whirlpool.
• Paolo Di Canio has been sacked! I'm not entirely surprised, but I am bitterly disappointed for several reasons. Not only do I really like Di Canio as a manager, but it represents this irritating trend of sacking managers very early on in their tenure without giving them a chance. That said, the higher ups at Sunderland clearly feel that if they don't cut their losses early, then they could be dead certs for relegation by Christmas and 1 point from 5 games, 4 of them very winnable is appalling. Martin O'Neill back anyone?
• Liverpool were fucking awful on Saturday. We lacked creativity without Coutinho and the idea of four centre backs was okay in a defensive sense but we lacked balance and options going forward as a result. We need Johnson and Coutinho back quickly. Nevertheless, 10 points off 5 games is a good start, 3 ahead of United and level on points with Chelsea and City. Oh and arguably the best player in the league last season is back on Wednesday. Hello Luis, it's been a while...

What We've Learned

So, we're four games into the new season. Time to take stock of clubs at both ends of the table and assess what we've learned so far about our title contenders, our 4th place rivals and our relegation candidates. Some of it is surprising, others of it less so and it'll be interesting to see where we go from here. Let's start at the top:

The Title Contenders 

Man Utd: Solid at the back, as we knew they would be, United have only conceded twice so far in 4 league games, with only Spurs and West Ham boasting better rates. Yes it's early, but Vidic and Ferdinand have always been reliable. United's problem will come in scoring goals. Yes, they banged in 4 against Swansea, but they seem reliant on Rooney and Van Persie. Whilst they are two players that one can argue you're okay relying on, take one of them out the side and United look toothless. They've struggled to break down both Liverpool and Chelsea and weren't much better against Palace. There is a startling lack of creativity in their midfield and they'll have to play well to get anything in the derby at the weekend.

Chelsea: Mourinho's side look exactly how you'd expect. Very tight, very solid and they get the job done. However, they're yet to be fully convincing. They sat back against Hull and had to battle past Villa, and though they were very strong defensively, they offered little coming forward against United. Their real problem is up front, where they've loaned out arguably their best option in Lukaku. Eto'o is past his prime, Ba is unlikely to see the first team and Torres remains unconvincing. They have a lot of quality in their side, but can they finish their chances?

Man City: None of the big 3 have been convincing so far, but City have looked the least, with by far the easiest run of fixtures. After they demolished Newcastle, I thought they would run away with it, but they were very poor against both Hull and Cardiff and only came out with 3 points. They have the players to rip apart anyone on their day, but they've been chronically underperforming for a while now and need to get their act together. For their second string, a draw away at Stoke is a decent result but they need to show up on Sunday against United and they need to get a result out of the game.

The Battle For 4th

Liverpool: The early pacesetters have shown an ability to grind out results that has been missing from Liverpool for a long time. They've come out of the blocks brilliantly, scoring all their goals and dominating the first half of all of their games but they've fallen away after the break and have struggled in the second half of games. With Dan Agger at the back, they look very convincing but without him, we saw Swansea cause them a lot of problems last night. At the other end of the pitch, in Sturridge and Suarez (yes he's nearly back) they have two world class finishers and Coutinho is a real quality player. Victor Moses will also be a useful signing and they look very good so far.

Arsenal: It's impossible to write off Arsenal and they've been impressive since their opening day slip against Villa. They have quality attacking midfield players to spare, with Ozil coming in, Cazorla, Wilshere, Arteta and Rozicky all options and Aaron Ramsey looking better than he has in a long time. Their problems however, are multiple. They lack defensive and goalkeeping options and Koscielny looks a liability. Take Mertesacker out their back 5 and it looks very shaky indeed and they're going to have to outscore teams, which to be fair looks very possible. They also lack strength and defensive cover from their midfield, which enhances their problem. That said, they'll dominate the ball and make it hard for the opposition to get a chance to expose them, and if they can keep Giroud fit and firing, they'll score a mountain of goals.

Spurs: They've spent a lot of money on a lot of big players and so far it appears as though they're going to need time to let them settle. Their creative players haven't been firing on all cylinders yet, with 1-0 wins over Palace and Swansea due to penalties proving that, but in Soldado they have a real talent with a knack for scoring goals and their defence looks incredibly solid. Townsend looks a real gem and combine that with all the quality they've brought in, they have a very packed midfield. Paulinho, Eriksen and Dembele offer real strength and creativity in the middle of the park and they have what Arsenal don't, variety in that central area. Townsend and Lamela are quality wide players and when and if they all get on the same page and start producing, this could be an incredibly good year for Spurs.

The Best of the Rest

Without covering every team in excruciating detail, Stoke have looked a lot better under Mark Hughes, playing a much better style of football and getting some good early results. Everton have been unconvincing going forward but they got a cracking result against Chelsea and Barkley is one hell of a player. West Ham have been solid at the back but need goals from somewhere. Southampton have a wealth of quality players but need to learn to play together and get more goals. Swansea are very strong on the ball and in Bony and Michu have a stunning strike force but off the ball they need to be a lot tighter and Fulham need to tighten up in all areas of the pitch but should be alright. Aston Villa have way too much attacking firepower to go down and have done alright considering their tough start.

The Relegation Dogfight

Newcastle: Despite their good start, I still think Newcastle will be at the wrong end of the table come May. They have a very rocky defence and are yet to convince in any of their results. They were very fortunate against West Ham, who as mentioned have lacked goals and likewise against Fulham. However, in Ben Arfa and Cisse, they have quality in attack, which they'll be hoping will be enough to get them out of trouble.

Norwich: Like Newcastle, they have goals in them. Van Wolfswinkel, Elmander and Hooper are all quality strikers but the problem is getting service to them. Their midfield is lacking in creativity and defensively they look like they'll struggle. I haven't seen enough of them to judge but it could be a long season for Norwich.

West Brom: I wouldn't have thought West Brom would be relegation candidates after last season but their early form has been wretched. They don't look too bad at the back but getting goals will be a real problem for them. Victor Anichebe is a decent signing but they still have properly replaced the goals that Lukaku brought them last season and this has been evident so far this season, with their centre back scoring their only goal so far. They really need to get firing, and quick.

Cardiff: A mixed bag so far for Cardiff, but they'll be very happy with their start. Defensively they may have problems but Caulker is a great acquisition for them. They did very well to get all 3 points against City and still look like the best of the newly promoted sides. In Bellamy they have experience and Gunnarsson and Whittingham are both very good players. I think they'll hang on.

Hull: If you'd offered Hull 4 points at this stage, I think they'd have taken it. They didn't roll over against City or Chelsea but the lack of quality is obvious. Up front Danny Graham is having a wretched run of form and they don't look like scoring goals. They have made some decent signings in midfield and certainly have the character and grit, showed by holding onto three points against Norwich but I just think they're not going to score enough goals to stay up.

Crystal Palace: Like Hull and Cardiff, they certainly haven't disgraced themselves in this league but they do lack quality and crucially experience at the top level. They might be able to grab some goals through Chamakh and Gayle but as much as I like Palace and Holloway, I just don't think they'll have enough to keep themselves in it. They haven't kept a clean sheet yet and I worry if they'll be able to. They have some big games coming up against Swansea and Southampton but if they can't get a win out of either of those, they could quickly find themselves sliding down the table...

Sunderland: I am a massive fan of Paulo Di Canio but it's just not working for Sunderland. Like other sides down the bottom, you wonder where the goals are going to come from. On paper, they have a quality side and the likes of Johnson, Larsson and Sessegnon are very good but they're leaking goals, they're highly inconsistent and they're yet to record a win. West Brom v Sunderland at the weekend is going to be a big one and whichever side can't get three points (if not both) is going to be in real trouble.

And there we have it. I haven't changed my predictions from the start of the season too much, but I think Stoke will finish a lot higher than 15th and West Brom and Sunderland will be dragged down, maybe even into the bottom 3. I still think Hull and Palace will go down, but I have more faith in Newcastle staying up. As for the other end, I still think City have the best team but it's about how they perform and United still will make it tough for them. Spurs to edge out us and the Gunners to 4th for me as well.

Doctor Who: Highs and Lows

I'm dedicating this post to my favourite TV show of all time: Doctor Who. Like every great show, it's had its ups and downs, so in this post, I'm going to celebrate my top 5 favourite Doctor Who episodes, along with the 5 that I'd most like to throw into a black hole. So let's start with the lower end of the scale.

LOWS:

Honourable mention to:
Crimson Horror - For completely undermining the character of the Doctor.
A Town Called Mercy - For managing to make ambiguous morality boring.
Closing Time - For defeating the Cybermen with love.
The Idiot's Lantern - For being written by Mark Gatiss

5. Fear Her by Matthew Graham from Series 2 -
Series 2 was a really polarising series. It contained some real gems but for every gem, there was a Fear Her. It is a very poor episode, with moments including David Tennant's Doctor carrying the Olympic Torch to the London 2012 Olympics (no really) and the TARDIS materialising the wrong way round (again, really). The fact was so much about this episode was poor. The secondary characters were annoying, especially the girl with the raspy voice and her ability to draw characters out of existence. It's never explained how she does this, or why she doesn't draw Rose out of existence the way she does the Doctor when she sees him to be a threat. The idea of a child's biggest monster being her father is interesting but the lack of threat, overly emotional feel and general childish feel to this episode earn it a place in my top 5.

4. Night Terrors by Mark Gatiss from Series 6 -
Now I really hate Mark Gatiss. The fact that two of his episodes very nearly made this list (Idiot's Lantern was very lucky not to) says everything. Of his 6 episodes, I find only one of them to be any better than average and that not by much. But Night Terrors was the low point of his writing for me. The China Dolls aren't that scary, the whole feel of the episode is off, there's another annoying child and it's just not that interesting. Rory and Amy are bit-part players at best, there's just no real tempo or feeling behind this episode and it really fails to convince. It was the low point of series 6 and one of the low points of Doctor Who for me.

3. Journey's End by Russell T Davies from Series 4 -
Of all the episodes on this list, this is by far the most controversial. But there are so many problems with this episode, I don't know where to start. After a somewhat promising set-up, with the almighty Doctor regenerating cliffhanger, it's no surprise this episode was so highly viewed, skewing the rest of series 4's viewing figures up with it. But the resolution to the cliffhanger is poor, with 10 merely pouring all his regen energy into his hand (what?) and for some reason deciding not to change. This leads onto one of the main problems with the End of Time which is there is no reason for him not to want to change body, other than because RTD didn't want him to, and it was a cheap grab for viewers. The fact that an entirely new Doctor/Donna meta-crisis grows out of this hand when Donna touches it (what?) and some of this feeds back into Donna (what?) causing her brain to burn up until the Doctor removes all knowledge of him (what?) is basically nonsensical and the very cheap way in which Davros defeats both Doctors plus all his companions is ridiculous. We see millions of Daleks, but they're not even remotely threatening and too much of the episode is focused on the companions. For all the build up of Rose's return, she also does nothing in the episode and basically, it feels like Davies has thrown in too many elements and it's frankly a complete mess that makes no sense and manages to remove the dignity of most of the characters in the episode. I hate it.

2. The Doctor, The Widow and the Wardrobe by Steven Moffat, Xmas 2011 -
Why Moffat? Why? What possessed you? How could Doctor Who's greatest writer (IMO) get it so wrong? This episode is an absolute calamity from start to finish. We get two good minutes at the start as the Doctor runs through an exploding spaceship, before magically falling to Earth and surviving ala Tennant (does nobody remember Logopolis?) and two good minutes at the end as he goes to tell the Ponds he is still alive (the only scene preventing this being worse than Number 1 on the list) but everything else is awful. Claire Skinner is utterly appalling, my least favourite "companion" by a mile, she is simply impossible to like. Arrogant to the extreme, condescending and nowhere near as emotional as the Moff tries to make her. She is all the problems with a Moffat character hammed to the max. The comedic villains don't get nearly enough screen time or any sort of punishment for their actions and the resolution to the episode is predictable, overly emotional and quite frankly sexist. The Doctor plays literally no role in the episode and is completely sidelined because of the fact that he isn't a mother (what?) as Madge manages to guide an entire forest through the time vortex and save her husband. But the worst thing is, that isn't even what bothers me about this episode. This episode, commits quite frankly, the cardinal sin. It is boring. It is slow, nothing happens for about 45 minutes and by the half hour mark I just wanted it to be over. The whole purpose of the show of any TV show, is to entertain. The minute I get bored, you've lost me as a viewer.

1. Love and Monsters by Russell T Davies from Series 2 -
Was there ever any doubt? I may seemingly be jumping on a bandwagon here but there is a reason that the majority of Doctor Who fans hate this episode and are ready to push RTD under a bus for its existence. In my opinion, Doctor-lite episodes are a mistake. Take out the main character and you take away what gives the show its essence. Take out both main characters and you're completely reliant on the supporting cast, which here doesn't do its job. I like Marc Warren, but here he has an almost impossible job. Jackie Tyler is a character I cannot stand, Peter Kay as a villain is almost always going to be a mistake and the simple fact that they let a 9 year old meant they were heading for a recipe for disaster. The monster itself is just plain stupid and the fact that faced by said monster, Rose rounds on Elton for bothering her mother just sums up how annoying, selfish and ignorant the character of Rose is. The ending is stupid and quite frankly borderline offensive for making a blatant blowjob reference on a show aimed at children as much as adults. This feels like a parody of Doctor Who. In truth, it feels a lot like the Comic Relief special starring Rowan Atkinson, it's just that tragic.

HIGHS:

Honourable mention to:
The Eleventh Hour
Doomsday
The Wedding of River Song
Time of Angels/Flesh and Stone

5. The Impossible Astronaut/Day of the Moon by Steven Moffat from Series 6 -
Series 6 kicked off in style. This two-parter had everything. The razor-sharp wit was evident in the dialogue, as it is in any Moffat script, but made all the better by the appearance of River Song, whose back and forth with the Doctor in this two-parter is by far the best of the series and probably the best of any series. The Silence are a terrifying concept as a monster and they are executed brilliantly. Although this two-parter raises more questions than it answers, you can't blame it if some of them are unsatisfactorily cleaned up. But killing your main character 10 minutes into a season takes real balls and not only does Moffat do this, but he produces an excellent two-parter with a brilliant resolution that feels like proper Doctor Who. The way 11 defeats the Silence is pure brilliance, and the showdown speech is still one of my favourite Who moments. An excellent start to a somewhat shaky series.

4. The Pandorica Opens/The Big Bang by Steven Moffat from Series 5 -
This two-parter had it all. River Song. A fez. Wibbley-wobbley-timey-wimey. Stone Dalek. Dismembered Cybermen. A box as old as time, a prison for the most feared monster of all eternity. Paradoxes galore. It was brilliant. The set up was excellent, as everything that hates the Doctor chases him through time and then races to the Pandorica, the ultimate prison. The twist that it was the Doctor himself that the Pandorica was made for is not entirely unexpected, but still absolutely brilliantly executed and the speech that precursors it as the Doctor wards off the bad guys is arguably Matt Smith's finest moment. The fact he turns around afterwards and says that it'll keep them squabbling for half an hour is fantastic. In amongst all this, Rory is magically back from the dead and the twist that he is an Auton is absolutely stunning. And then THAT cliffhanger. Rory shoots Amy, River is trapped in the TARDIS as a mysterious force blows it up and the Doctor is desperate and begging as he is locked in the Pandorica. Stunning. And then the pay off is just as good. It's a madcap 45 minutes of running about and insane time travel. Moffat has always been the King of paradoxes and here he throws out the rulebook as the Doctor desperately fights to reboot the universe. Using the Pandorica to relite the fire and reboot the universe is genius and the stone Dalek is executed beautifully. The ending is also fantastic, as the Doctor tearfully says goodbye to young Amy and the inevitable surivival is brilliant. And we even get hints at River's future. Loved every second of it.

3. Utopia by Russell T Davies from Series 3 -
For half an hour or so, Utopia is a very standard Doctor Who episode, all running about and this and that. The set up is fantastic, Professor Yana desperately fighting for his people to reach Utopia and escape the end of the universe. Humanity's last battle for survival. Plus Captain Jack is back and this is as good as he gets for me, the scene where he and the Doctor catch up when he's in the radiation chamber is quality. Then the episode goes mental, kicking off the best 15 minutes of television RTD and arguably anyone for Doctor Who has produced. The realisation that Yana is a timelord with a fob watch, followed by the Doctor's realisation and his words: depends which one, lead us to a deep sense of foreboding and then, in some stunning acting from Derek Jacobi, the character of Yana completely changes. He is suddenly sharp, evil for all to see, a stunning portrayal of the Doctor's most dangerous enemy. His whispered announcement of who he is, followed by making the Doctor say his name, are eerie at best and his regeneration into John Simm is as shocking as it is inspired. The Doctor is left at the end of the universe, with no TARDIS and the Master is free to terrorise. What a cliffhanger.

2. The Name of the Doctor by Steven Moffat from Series 7 -
The Moff does it again. This is an episode of pure brilliance, filled to the brim with fanboy references and glorious moments. The realisation that Clara is placed throughout the Doctor's timestream is fantastic and we get to see flashes of all his previous incarnations. We see River and Clara interact in the most awkward of ways and the way that only Clara can see her for most of the episode is very cleverly done and the scene between 11 and River near the end where he explains he can always see her and can't bring himself to say goodbye is truly heart-breaking. Jenny, Vastra and Strax are excellent here as is the Great Intelligence and his henchmen Whispermen as villains, let's hope they get better development than they did here. The way the Doctor's name was worked in was very clever (and kudos to several people who were smart enough to guess what it was because I had no idea) and the timestream element to it was a brilliant payoff to the Clara mystery. But what really kicks this episode into a completely different gear is its ending. Still unresolved, but with both The Doctor and Clara in his own collapsing timestream, they encounter a version of the Doctor that Clara didn't see. Because he did something so unspeakable, that he lost the right to call himself the Doctor. He is the Doctor's greatest secret. And wow. I can't wait for the 50th.

1. Asylum of the Daleks by Steven Moffat from Series 7 -
The only episode that can top the ending to series 7 and the Clara arc is the one that started both. Because quite frankly, Steven Moffat is a genius. Not only does he manage to slip Jenna Louise Coleman in three months and half a dozen episodes before she's supposed to be introduced without anybody catching on, he then only goes and kills her off! The episode sets itself up brilliantly by having the Doctor and a divorced Amy and Rory plucked out of their time streams to save the Daleks from a planet of insane Daleks (how cool does that sound?!) but then the moment straight after the credits where we first see JLC is a moment of brain melting WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING THERE?! I was blown away and not only does Coleman appear here, but she steals every single scene she is in and arguably this is as good as she is in Who. The character of Oswin is witty to the extreme, genius and beautiful and guides the Doctor and companions through the failing asylum. The reveal she is in fact a Dalek is both so obvious and yet completely unexpected. You kick yourself for missing it, but it's impossible to guess and utterly heart-breaking. Away from JLC, Matt Smith is on top top form, there are Daleks everywhere, and Karen Gillan has some amazing scenes as the striken Amy, including some brilliant emotional scenes with Arthur Darvill. And all the Daleks forget who the Doctor is. Absolutely priceless and my favourite episode of Doctor Who.


Also, less than two weeks til the return of Big Bang Theory, and less than a week til uni. I'll check back soon with a round up of the weekend's footie, but let's hope we're back on top of the league come Tuesday.

Danny Welbeck

I have gotten a lot of stick on twitter and various other places because of the fact I do not like Danny Welbeck. And by do not like, that is to say do not rate, as opposed to the do not like that is a small pool of hatred that I reserve in my soul for the RVPs and Fergies of this world, who continuously shit (and shat) on my weekly diet of football. Needless to say, people come up with all kinds of reasons my hatred of Welbeck is ridiculous. The fact that I am 19, the fact that I am an LFC fan and the fact he has won the title are all (apparently) legitimate reasons for discrediting my views on the subject. Whilst all of these facts are true, they are all also irrelevant. I know Man U fans who hate Welbeck, my age has nothing to do with my ability to understand a player who has been around the game as long as I've been following it and winning the title does not, nor will it ever make you a world class player. Asier Del Horno, Juliano Belleti, Kieran Richardson and Stefan Savic all fit that bill perfectly.

Yes, there is the point that Welbeck has been banging them in for England on a semi-regular basis. 8 goals in 18 games is without doubt an impressive return. But I refuse to be convinced that 2 goals each against Moldova and San Marino and one against the Scottish make you a good player. Yes, Sweden and Belgium are decent sides but the Swedish defence isn't exactly world class, with the majority of their players made up from lower level countries or mediocre EPL sides. The same sides Welbeck struggles to score against.

But ultimately, the stat that for me kills Danny Welbeck as a world class footballer is this: 1 goal last season in the Premier League. 1. He made 27 appearances, and played for a total of near 1300 minutes. That's nearly a day. He had a chance conversion rate below 5% (the exact stat varies, one website said 2.6%, another 4% in any case, the point still stands). His shot on target accuracy is another point that doesn't flatter, less than a quarter by some reckoning. His passing accuracy is very high, over 80% but very few of those passes are actually forwards (16%) and he creates less than one chance per game. He simply doesn't get enough assists to justify his goal return.

Is Danny Welbeck a decent young player with some very good attributes? Yes. Do I think he has what it takes to compete at the top level as a striker? No. The fact that a man who scored, including England games and all United appearances, 7 goals in 53 appearances, 33 of those starting last season is simply not good enough. When you consider three of those goals were against Stoke and San Marino twice, with 2 more against a moderate Swedish defence, you start to worry. Yes, a goal against Real Madrid is a good goal, but then one goal doesn't make a career. Unless you're Danny Welbeck apparently.