Dissecting the Derby and other football related nonesense

The Manchester Derby was today (in case you've been living under a rock somewhere) and United were thrashed by City 4-1, a scoreline that is just about fair. The first half was utterly one-sided and City were by far the better side, scoring twice through a stunning Aguero volley and a Toure finish off a corner. The two goals just after the break from Aguero and Nasri killed the game somewhat, and after that United played a lot better and pulled one back but it was still a stunning performance and result from City. So let's look at some of the key elements in the win:

Kompany v Rooney

Some people have said Rooney played well today, as well as he could have, but the simple matter of fact was that Kompany completely shut him out of the game. Only once or twice in the first half was Rooney able to drop deep and influence the play. The rest of the half, he was well and truly in Kompany's pocket. Every time the ball went up to him, Kompany stepped up and won virtually every battle with the forward. He did manage to roll him in behind once but was offside at the time. His set piece delivery was dismal up until his goal (a consolation United barely deserved but a great strike nevertheless) whilst Kompany marauded at times, his position influencing the third goal.

Robin Van Persie

There can't be very many United fans who weren't cursing that RVP wasn't fit to play today and his absence from the team was obvious. Danny Welbeck isn't even in the same bracket as RVP and was completely devoid of any presence on the game. That said, I believe that RVP wouldn't have really influenced the result anyway, as United weren't creating anything and were getting dominated in the midfield. Maybe it would've allowed Rooney to drop deeper and influence the game, but this is simply speculation anyway. A team as good as Man United should be able to if not replace their main striker, at least cope without him and today they simply didn't.

Aguero and Negredo

In my opinion, Sergio Aguero is up there with Luis Suarez and RVP as one of the top three strikers in the division (sorry Benteke, Sturridge or Giroud fans of which I am all 3). He has been class at times and today he was excellent as ever, but a lot of credit should go to Negredo, who didn't score himself but certainly played his part. His control and pass for Aguero's second were excellent and his overall link up play with Aguero was very good. My only slight criticism was his tendancy to shoot from range, but there's not a whole lot wrong with a confident striker if he has the ability to finish.

The Midfield Battle

Although you could argue that Man City outplayed United in every single position of the pitch (which they did), the majority of the difference came in the midfield. Fernandinho is yet to convince a lot of people of his quality but the midfield looks a lot better with him in it as far as I'm concerned. Jesus Navas probably won't get an easier game all season in truth but still looked very good and set up the fourth goal. Nasri got a goal himself and his passing was very strong but the best player on the pitch in that first half was Yaya Toure. The big man won every tackle, tracked back brilliantly, passed brilliantly but most of all he was strong. He butchered Fellaini and Carrick in the central area and won virtually every duel and grabbed a goal to his name as well. In contrast, Valenica's lax tracking back led to the first goal and he only took on Kolarov once or twice in the whole match, choosing instead to shoot tamely from range or fall over in the hopes of winning a pen. Young on the other side was absolutely dire and both Carrick and Fellaini struggled to get any sort of foothold in the game. They were outmuscled, out played and simply out classed.

Ultimately, United looked very short on quality today. We've been saying all season how reliant they've been on Rooney and Van Persie and that showed. With RVP out and the best centre half in the league keeping Rooney out of the match, United looked dreadful on the ball and not a lot better off it. But credit to City. They've underperformed so far this season but today they played at their best and they were terrific. The likes of Toure, Kompany and Aguero are among the best in the world in their positions and the supporting cast all did their bit. I've been saying since we started that City have by far the best starting 11 in the league and probably the best in depth squad. Today they proved that emphatically. The challenge now is to get some consistency and play this well every week. If they do, the title is theirs, because Chelsea and United both look vulnerable. Moyes has a big job to do in picking his team up and the midweek game against us could be massive for them.

Elsewhere in the football world:

• Another excellent display from an Arsenal side down to the bare bones of a squad to see off a potentially tricky game against Stoke and move top. 4 wins in a row after that opening day defeat and they are looking impressive. 
• Likewise, Spurs continue to look very good defensively, but once again had to grind out a very tough result as they edged out a valiant Cardiff side in the 90th minute. But they need to play better.
• I have a huge admiration for Swansea and the way they do things and after a staggering midweek result, they got the job done in the league. As for their opponents Palace, these are very dark times.
• Hull City were fantastic again on Saturday and got another big result, this time at St James' Park. 7 points off Cardiff, Newcastle and Norwich shows they have what it takes to stay in this league (and yes I know I keep changing my mind on Hull every week and probably will until the season ends). 
• Chelsea need time to settle under Mourinho and I don't think they'll win the title this year, but they will probably win something and be a lot stronger next year. Today's opponents Fulham need to get some points on the board if they want to avoid being sucked into the relegation whirlpool.
• Paolo Di Canio has been sacked! I'm not entirely surprised, but I am bitterly disappointed for several reasons. Not only do I really like Di Canio as a manager, but it represents this irritating trend of sacking managers very early on in their tenure without giving them a chance. That said, the higher ups at Sunderland clearly feel that if they don't cut their losses early, then they could be dead certs for relegation by Christmas and 1 point from 5 games, 4 of them very winnable is appalling. Martin O'Neill back anyone?
• Liverpool were fucking awful on Saturday. We lacked creativity without Coutinho and the idea of four centre backs was okay in a defensive sense but we lacked balance and options going forward as a result. We need Johnson and Coutinho back quickly. Nevertheless, 10 points off 5 games is a good start, 3 ahead of United and level on points with Chelsea and City. Oh and arguably the best player in the league last season is back on Wednesday. Hello Luis, it's been a while...

What We've Learned

So, we're four games into the new season. Time to take stock of clubs at both ends of the table and assess what we've learned so far about our title contenders, our 4th place rivals and our relegation candidates. Some of it is surprising, others of it less so and it'll be interesting to see where we go from here. Let's start at the top:

The Title Contenders 

Man Utd: Solid at the back, as we knew they would be, United have only conceded twice so far in 4 league games, with only Spurs and West Ham boasting better rates. Yes it's early, but Vidic and Ferdinand have always been reliable. United's problem will come in scoring goals. Yes, they banged in 4 against Swansea, but they seem reliant on Rooney and Van Persie. Whilst they are two players that one can argue you're okay relying on, take one of them out the side and United look toothless. They've struggled to break down both Liverpool and Chelsea and weren't much better against Palace. There is a startling lack of creativity in their midfield and they'll have to play well to get anything in the derby at the weekend.

Chelsea: Mourinho's side look exactly how you'd expect. Very tight, very solid and they get the job done. However, they're yet to be fully convincing. They sat back against Hull and had to battle past Villa, and though they were very strong defensively, they offered little coming forward against United. Their real problem is up front, where they've loaned out arguably their best option in Lukaku. Eto'o is past his prime, Ba is unlikely to see the first team and Torres remains unconvincing. They have a lot of quality in their side, but can they finish their chances?

Man City: None of the big 3 have been convincing so far, but City have looked the least, with by far the easiest run of fixtures. After they demolished Newcastle, I thought they would run away with it, but they were very poor against both Hull and Cardiff and only came out with 3 points. They have the players to rip apart anyone on their day, but they've been chronically underperforming for a while now and need to get their act together. For their second string, a draw away at Stoke is a decent result but they need to show up on Sunday against United and they need to get a result out of the game.

The Battle For 4th

Liverpool: The early pacesetters have shown an ability to grind out results that has been missing from Liverpool for a long time. They've come out of the blocks brilliantly, scoring all their goals and dominating the first half of all of their games but they've fallen away after the break and have struggled in the second half of games. With Dan Agger at the back, they look very convincing but without him, we saw Swansea cause them a lot of problems last night. At the other end of the pitch, in Sturridge and Suarez (yes he's nearly back) they have two world class finishers and Coutinho is a real quality player. Victor Moses will also be a useful signing and they look very good so far.

Arsenal: It's impossible to write off Arsenal and they've been impressive since their opening day slip against Villa. They have quality attacking midfield players to spare, with Ozil coming in, Cazorla, Wilshere, Arteta and Rozicky all options and Aaron Ramsey looking better than he has in a long time. Their problems however, are multiple. They lack defensive and goalkeeping options and Koscielny looks a liability. Take Mertesacker out their back 5 and it looks very shaky indeed and they're going to have to outscore teams, which to be fair looks very possible. They also lack strength and defensive cover from their midfield, which enhances their problem. That said, they'll dominate the ball and make it hard for the opposition to get a chance to expose them, and if they can keep Giroud fit and firing, they'll score a mountain of goals.

Spurs: They've spent a lot of money on a lot of big players and so far it appears as though they're going to need time to let them settle. Their creative players haven't been firing on all cylinders yet, with 1-0 wins over Palace and Swansea due to penalties proving that, but in Soldado they have a real talent with a knack for scoring goals and their defence looks incredibly solid. Townsend looks a real gem and combine that with all the quality they've brought in, they have a very packed midfield. Paulinho, Eriksen and Dembele offer real strength and creativity in the middle of the park and they have what Arsenal don't, variety in that central area. Townsend and Lamela are quality wide players and when and if they all get on the same page and start producing, this could be an incredibly good year for Spurs.

The Best of the Rest

Without covering every team in excruciating detail, Stoke have looked a lot better under Mark Hughes, playing a much better style of football and getting some good early results. Everton have been unconvincing going forward but they got a cracking result against Chelsea and Barkley is one hell of a player. West Ham have been solid at the back but need goals from somewhere. Southampton have a wealth of quality players but need to learn to play together and get more goals. Swansea are very strong on the ball and in Bony and Michu have a stunning strike force but off the ball they need to be a lot tighter and Fulham need to tighten up in all areas of the pitch but should be alright. Aston Villa have way too much attacking firepower to go down and have done alright considering their tough start.

The Relegation Dogfight

Newcastle: Despite their good start, I still think Newcastle will be at the wrong end of the table come May. They have a very rocky defence and are yet to convince in any of their results. They were very fortunate against West Ham, who as mentioned have lacked goals and likewise against Fulham. However, in Ben Arfa and Cisse, they have quality in attack, which they'll be hoping will be enough to get them out of trouble.

Norwich: Like Newcastle, they have goals in them. Van Wolfswinkel, Elmander and Hooper are all quality strikers but the problem is getting service to them. Their midfield is lacking in creativity and defensively they look like they'll struggle. I haven't seen enough of them to judge but it could be a long season for Norwich.

West Brom: I wouldn't have thought West Brom would be relegation candidates after last season but their early form has been wretched. They don't look too bad at the back but getting goals will be a real problem for them. Victor Anichebe is a decent signing but they still have properly replaced the goals that Lukaku brought them last season and this has been evident so far this season, with their centre back scoring their only goal so far. They really need to get firing, and quick.

Cardiff: A mixed bag so far for Cardiff, but they'll be very happy with their start. Defensively they may have problems but Caulker is a great acquisition for them. They did very well to get all 3 points against City and still look like the best of the newly promoted sides. In Bellamy they have experience and Gunnarsson and Whittingham are both very good players. I think they'll hang on.

Hull: If you'd offered Hull 4 points at this stage, I think they'd have taken it. They didn't roll over against City or Chelsea but the lack of quality is obvious. Up front Danny Graham is having a wretched run of form and they don't look like scoring goals. They have made some decent signings in midfield and certainly have the character and grit, showed by holding onto three points against Norwich but I just think they're not going to score enough goals to stay up.

Crystal Palace: Like Hull and Cardiff, they certainly haven't disgraced themselves in this league but they do lack quality and crucially experience at the top level. They might be able to grab some goals through Chamakh and Gayle but as much as I like Palace and Holloway, I just don't think they'll have enough to keep themselves in it. They haven't kept a clean sheet yet and I worry if they'll be able to. They have some big games coming up against Swansea and Southampton but if they can't get a win out of either of those, they could quickly find themselves sliding down the table...

Sunderland: I am a massive fan of Paulo Di Canio but it's just not working for Sunderland. Like other sides down the bottom, you wonder where the goals are going to come from. On paper, they have a quality side and the likes of Johnson, Larsson and Sessegnon are very good but they're leaking goals, they're highly inconsistent and they're yet to record a win. West Brom v Sunderland at the weekend is going to be a big one and whichever side can't get three points (if not both) is going to be in real trouble.

And there we have it. I haven't changed my predictions from the start of the season too much, but I think Stoke will finish a lot higher than 15th and West Brom and Sunderland will be dragged down, maybe even into the bottom 3. I still think Hull and Palace will go down, but I have more faith in Newcastle staying up. As for the other end, I still think City have the best team but it's about how they perform and United still will make it tough for them. Spurs to edge out us and the Gunners to 4th for me as well.

Doctor Who: Highs and Lows

I'm dedicating this post to my favourite TV show of all time: Doctor Who. Like every great show, it's had its ups and downs, so in this post, I'm going to celebrate my top 5 favourite Doctor Who episodes, along with the 5 that I'd most like to throw into a black hole. So let's start with the lower end of the scale.

LOWS:

Honourable mention to:
Crimson Horror - For completely undermining the character of the Doctor.
A Town Called Mercy - For managing to make ambiguous morality boring.
Closing Time - For defeating the Cybermen with love.
The Idiot's Lantern - For being written by Mark Gatiss

5. Fear Her by Matthew Graham from Series 2 -
Series 2 was a really polarising series. It contained some real gems but for every gem, there was a Fear Her. It is a very poor episode, with moments including David Tennant's Doctor carrying the Olympic Torch to the London 2012 Olympics (no really) and the TARDIS materialising the wrong way round (again, really). The fact was so much about this episode was poor. The secondary characters were annoying, especially the girl with the raspy voice and her ability to draw characters out of existence. It's never explained how she does this, or why she doesn't draw Rose out of existence the way she does the Doctor when she sees him to be a threat. The idea of a child's biggest monster being her father is interesting but the lack of threat, overly emotional feel and general childish feel to this episode earn it a place in my top 5.

4. Night Terrors by Mark Gatiss from Series 6 -
Now I really hate Mark Gatiss. The fact that two of his episodes very nearly made this list (Idiot's Lantern was very lucky not to) says everything. Of his 6 episodes, I find only one of them to be any better than average and that not by much. But Night Terrors was the low point of his writing for me. The China Dolls aren't that scary, the whole feel of the episode is off, there's another annoying child and it's just not that interesting. Rory and Amy are bit-part players at best, there's just no real tempo or feeling behind this episode and it really fails to convince. It was the low point of series 6 and one of the low points of Doctor Who for me.

3. Journey's End by Russell T Davies from Series 4 -
Of all the episodes on this list, this is by far the most controversial. But there are so many problems with this episode, I don't know where to start. After a somewhat promising set-up, with the almighty Doctor regenerating cliffhanger, it's no surprise this episode was so highly viewed, skewing the rest of series 4's viewing figures up with it. But the resolution to the cliffhanger is poor, with 10 merely pouring all his regen energy into his hand (what?) and for some reason deciding not to change. This leads onto one of the main problems with the End of Time which is there is no reason for him not to want to change body, other than because RTD didn't want him to, and it was a cheap grab for viewers. The fact that an entirely new Doctor/Donna meta-crisis grows out of this hand when Donna touches it (what?) and some of this feeds back into Donna (what?) causing her brain to burn up until the Doctor removes all knowledge of him (what?) is basically nonsensical and the very cheap way in which Davros defeats both Doctors plus all his companions is ridiculous. We see millions of Daleks, but they're not even remotely threatening and too much of the episode is focused on the companions. For all the build up of Rose's return, she also does nothing in the episode and basically, it feels like Davies has thrown in too many elements and it's frankly a complete mess that makes no sense and manages to remove the dignity of most of the characters in the episode. I hate it.

2. The Doctor, The Widow and the Wardrobe by Steven Moffat, Xmas 2011 -
Why Moffat? Why? What possessed you? How could Doctor Who's greatest writer (IMO) get it so wrong? This episode is an absolute calamity from start to finish. We get two good minutes at the start as the Doctor runs through an exploding spaceship, before magically falling to Earth and surviving ala Tennant (does nobody remember Logopolis?) and two good minutes at the end as he goes to tell the Ponds he is still alive (the only scene preventing this being worse than Number 1 on the list) but everything else is awful. Claire Skinner is utterly appalling, my least favourite "companion" by a mile, she is simply impossible to like. Arrogant to the extreme, condescending and nowhere near as emotional as the Moff tries to make her. She is all the problems with a Moffat character hammed to the max. The comedic villains don't get nearly enough screen time or any sort of punishment for their actions and the resolution to the episode is predictable, overly emotional and quite frankly sexist. The Doctor plays literally no role in the episode and is completely sidelined because of the fact that he isn't a mother (what?) as Madge manages to guide an entire forest through the time vortex and save her husband. But the worst thing is, that isn't even what bothers me about this episode. This episode, commits quite frankly, the cardinal sin. It is boring. It is slow, nothing happens for about 45 minutes and by the half hour mark I just wanted it to be over. The whole purpose of the show of any TV show, is to entertain. The minute I get bored, you've lost me as a viewer.

1. Love and Monsters by Russell T Davies from Series 2 -
Was there ever any doubt? I may seemingly be jumping on a bandwagon here but there is a reason that the majority of Doctor Who fans hate this episode and are ready to push RTD under a bus for its existence. In my opinion, Doctor-lite episodes are a mistake. Take out the main character and you take away what gives the show its essence. Take out both main characters and you're completely reliant on the supporting cast, which here doesn't do its job. I like Marc Warren, but here he has an almost impossible job. Jackie Tyler is a character I cannot stand, Peter Kay as a villain is almost always going to be a mistake and the simple fact that they let a 9 year old meant they were heading for a recipe for disaster. The monster itself is just plain stupid and the fact that faced by said monster, Rose rounds on Elton for bothering her mother just sums up how annoying, selfish and ignorant the character of Rose is. The ending is stupid and quite frankly borderline offensive for making a blatant blowjob reference on a show aimed at children as much as adults. This feels like a parody of Doctor Who. In truth, it feels a lot like the Comic Relief special starring Rowan Atkinson, it's just that tragic.

HIGHS:

Honourable mention to:
The Eleventh Hour
Doomsday
The Wedding of River Song
Time of Angels/Flesh and Stone

5. The Impossible Astronaut/Day of the Moon by Steven Moffat from Series 6 -
Series 6 kicked off in style. This two-parter had everything. The razor-sharp wit was evident in the dialogue, as it is in any Moffat script, but made all the better by the appearance of River Song, whose back and forth with the Doctor in this two-parter is by far the best of the series and probably the best of any series. The Silence are a terrifying concept as a monster and they are executed brilliantly. Although this two-parter raises more questions than it answers, you can't blame it if some of them are unsatisfactorily cleaned up. But killing your main character 10 minutes into a season takes real balls and not only does Moffat do this, but he produces an excellent two-parter with a brilliant resolution that feels like proper Doctor Who. The way 11 defeats the Silence is pure brilliance, and the showdown speech is still one of my favourite Who moments. An excellent start to a somewhat shaky series.

4. The Pandorica Opens/The Big Bang by Steven Moffat from Series 5 -
This two-parter had it all. River Song. A fez. Wibbley-wobbley-timey-wimey. Stone Dalek. Dismembered Cybermen. A box as old as time, a prison for the most feared monster of all eternity. Paradoxes galore. It was brilliant. The set up was excellent, as everything that hates the Doctor chases him through time and then races to the Pandorica, the ultimate prison. The twist that it was the Doctor himself that the Pandorica was made for is not entirely unexpected, but still absolutely brilliantly executed and the speech that precursors it as the Doctor wards off the bad guys is arguably Matt Smith's finest moment. The fact he turns around afterwards and says that it'll keep them squabbling for half an hour is fantastic. In amongst all this, Rory is magically back from the dead and the twist that he is an Auton is absolutely stunning. And then THAT cliffhanger. Rory shoots Amy, River is trapped in the TARDIS as a mysterious force blows it up and the Doctor is desperate and begging as he is locked in the Pandorica. Stunning. And then the pay off is just as good. It's a madcap 45 minutes of running about and insane time travel. Moffat has always been the King of paradoxes and here he throws out the rulebook as the Doctor desperately fights to reboot the universe. Using the Pandorica to relite the fire and reboot the universe is genius and the stone Dalek is executed beautifully. The ending is also fantastic, as the Doctor tearfully says goodbye to young Amy and the inevitable surivival is brilliant. And we even get hints at River's future. Loved every second of it.

3. Utopia by Russell T Davies from Series 3 -
For half an hour or so, Utopia is a very standard Doctor Who episode, all running about and this and that. The set up is fantastic, Professor Yana desperately fighting for his people to reach Utopia and escape the end of the universe. Humanity's last battle for survival. Plus Captain Jack is back and this is as good as he gets for me, the scene where he and the Doctor catch up when he's in the radiation chamber is quality. Then the episode goes mental, kicking off the best 15 minutes of television RTD and arguably anyone for Doctor Who has produced. The realisation that Yana is a timelord with a fob watch, followed by the Doctor's realisation and his words: depends which one, lead us to a deep sense of foreboding and then, in some stunning acting from Derek Jacobi, the character of Yana completely changes. He is suddenly sharp, evil for all to see, a stunning portrayal of the Doctor's most dangerous enemy. His whispered announcement of who he is, followed by making the Doctor say his name, are eerie at best and his regeneration into John Simm is as shocking as it is inspired. The Doctor is left at the end of the universe, with no TARDIS and the Master is free to terrorise. What a cliffhanger.

2. The Name of the Doctor by Steven Moffat from Series 7 -
The Moff does it again. This is an episode of pure brilliance, filled to the brim with fanboy references and glorious moments. The realisation that Clara is placed throughout the Doctor's timestream is fantastic and we get to see flashes of all his previous incarnations. We see River and Clara interact in the most awkward of ways and the way that only Clara can see her for most of the episode is very cleverly done and the scene between 11 and River near the end where he explains he can always see her and can't bring himself to say goodbye is truly heart-breaking. Jenny, Vastra and Strax are excellent here as is the Great Intelligence and his henchmen Whispermen as villains, let's hope they get better development than they did here. The way the Doctor's name was worked in was very clever (and kudos to several people who were smart enough to guess what it was because I had no idea) and the timestream element to it was a brilliant payoff to the Clara mystery. But what really kicks this episode into a completely different gear is its ending. Still unresolved, but with both The Doctor and Clara in his own collapsing timestream, they encounter a version of the Doctor that Clara didn't see. Because he did something so unspeakable, that he lost the right to call himself the Doctor. He is the Doctor's greatest secret. And wow. I can't wait for the 50th.

1. Asylum of the Daleks by Steven Moffat from Series 7 -
The only episode that can top the ending to series 7 and the Clara arc is the one that started both. Because quite frankly, Steven Moffat is a genius. Not only does he manage to slip Jenna Louise Coleman in three months and half a dozen episodes before she's supposed to be introduced without anybody catching on, he then only goes and kills her off! The episode sets itself up brilliantly by having the Doctor and a divorced Amy and Rory plucked out of their time streams to save the Daleks from a planet of insane Daleks (how cool does that sound?!) but then the moment straight after the credits where we first see JLC is a moment of brain melting WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING THERE?! I was blown away and not only does Coleman appear here, but she steals every single scene she is in and arguably this is as good as she is in Who. The character of Oswin is witty to the extreme, genius and beautiful and guides the Doctor and companions through the failing asylum. The reveal she is in fact a Dalek is both so obvious and yet completely unexpected. You kick yourself for missing it, but it's impossible to guess and utterly heart-breaking. Away from JLC, Matt Smith is on top top form, there are Daleks everywhere, and Karen Gillan has some amazing scenes as the striken Amy, including some brilliant emotional scenes with Arthur Darvill. And all the Daleks forget who the Doctor is. Absolutely priceless and my favourite episode of Doctor Who.


Also, less than two weeks til the return of Big Bang Theory, and less than a week til uni. I'll check back soon with a round up of the weekend's footie, but let's hope we're back on top of the league come Tuesday.

Danny Welbeck

I have gotten a lot of stick on twitter and various other places because of the fact I do not like Danny Welbeck. And by do not like, that is to say do not rate, as opposed to the do not like that is a small pool of hatred that I reserve in my soul for the RVPs and Fergies of this world, who continuously shit (and shat) on my weekly diet of football. Needless to say, people come up with all kinds of reasons my hatred of Welbeck is ridiculous. The fact that I am 19, the fact that I am an LFC fan and the fact he has won the title are all (apparently) legitimate reasons for discrediting my views on the subject. Whilst all of these facts are true, they are all also irrelevant. I know Man U fans who hate Welbeck, my age has nothing to do with my ability to understand a player who has been around the game as long as I've been following it and winning the title does not, nor will it ever make you a world class player. Asier Del Horno, Juliano Belleti, Kieran Richardson and Stefan Savic all fit that bill perfectly.

Yes, there is the point that Welbeck has been banging them in for England on a semi-regular basis. 8 goals in 18 games is without doubt an impressive return. But I refuse to be convinced that 2 goals each against Moldova and San Marino and one against the Scottish make you a good player. Yes, Sweden and Belgium are decent sides but the Swedish defence isn't exactly world class, with the majority of their players made up from lower level countries or mediocre EPL sides. The same sides Welbeck struggles to score against.

But ultimately, the stat that for me kills Danny Welbeck as a world class footballer is this: 1 goal last season in the Premier League. 1. He made 27 appearances, and played for a total of near 1300 minutes. That's nearly a day. He had a chance conversion rate below 5% (the exact stat varies, one website said 2.6%, another 4% in any case, the point still stands). His shot on target accuracy is another point that doesn't flatter, less than a quarter by some reckoning. His passing accuracy is very high, over 80% but very few of those passes are actually forwards (16%) and he creates less than one chance per game. He simply doesn't get enough assists to justify his goal return.

Is Danny Welbeck a decent young player with some very good attributes? Yes. Do I think he has what it takes to compete at the top level as a striker? No. The fact that a man who scored, including England games and all United appearances, 7 goals in 53 appearances, 33 of those starting last season is simply not good enough. When you consider three of those goals were against Stoke and San Marino twice, with 2 more against a moderate Swedish defence, you start to worry. Yes, a goal against Real Madrid is a good goal, but then one goal doesn't make a career. Unless you're Danny Welbeck apparently.